Podcast E37: Women's Relational Over-Responsibility
In podcast E37, the significant increase in ADHD diagnoses among women from 2011 to 2023 is discussed. Mette Miriam Sloth, M.A. in psychology, presents her hypothesis that part of this increase may be due to women's increased relational over-responsibility in a time of profound transformations.
-
The podcast highlights the following:
Increase in ADHD diagnoses: The graph shows an increase from 6,045 diagnosed women in 2011 to 21,244 in 2023.
Challenges in diagnosis: Symptoms of ADHD overlap with other conditions, such as complex PTSD and stress.
Women's symptoms: They often experience problems with focus, racing thoughts, restlessness in the body, and difficulties completing tasks.
Complex PTSD: Traumatic experiences from childhood can give similar symptoms to ADHD, which can lead to misdiagnoses.
Relational over-responsibility: Women often take on an over-responsibility in relationships and family life, which can lead to burnout and stress.
Energy work: Can play a role in managing the symptoms by balancing the energy field and reducing stress.
Generational shift and evolutionary development: We live in a transforming time where old patterns are challenged. These changes can be an opportunity for growth, but they can also create imbalance and stress that can manifest as ADHD symptoms.
Mette Miriam Sloth's hypothesis:
Mette Miriam Sloth observes that many women who come to her experience ADHD-like symptoms, but that these symptoms can often be traced back to a deep-seated relational over-responsibility. She believes that women, to a greater extent than men, take responsibility for the emotional well-being of their family and relationships. This can create a constant feeling of inadequacy and an energetic heaviness that can result in ADHD symptoms.
The podcast encourages women to:
Set healthy boundaries: Learning to say no and delegate responsibility to avoid burnout.
Explore energy work: Practicing techniques such as meditation and visualization to create balance in the energy field.
Understand the energetic aspects of transformation: To see the current challenges as an opportunity for growth and development.
The podcast also mentions that Mette Miriam Sloth is not a psychiatrist and does not make diagnoses. If you suspect ADHD or other mental health conditions, it is recommended to seek professional help.
-
Translated transcript of the original Danish podcast
Hosts: Mette Miriam Sloth & Sune Sloth
Sune Sloth: Welcome to another episode of our podcast. This is episode 37. This time we're going to talk to you about women, ADHD and the rise in diagnoses. So what would you like to talk about?
Mette Miriam Sloth: Firstly, I'd like to talk about how I look at the ADHD diagnosis. And then I'd like to compare it with an article that was in Det er recently. I sent it to you, which really just goes in and shows on a graph an increase in ADHD diagnoses for women. And I was marvelling at the point in the timeline where it's gone completely crazy. And that one. The graph shows from 2011 to 2023 and 2011 there's 6,000 and forty-five that have been diagnosed with ADHD. And then [00:01:00] in 2019, the curve starts to go pretty much crazy. So by 2023, it's up to 21,000 diagnoses. And without being able to calculate 300 per cent increase or something more. 400 per cent increase, which is very, very dramatic. And you could say that some people will say that it's a good thing, because they leaked the document, and they had a hard time and weren't investigated properly and stuff like that. Then there are independent experts who say that you can look at this differently. I have a slightly different angle when I look at ADHD diagnoses, and I must say that I have a Master's degree. In psychology. I'm not a psychiatrist, I don't investigate, and I would never ever tell a person who has an ADHD diagnosis that they don't have ADHD. Nor would I ever be a conspiracy theorist saying that it's a term or diagnosis invented by Big FARMA.
Mette Miriam Sloth: That's just rubbish. It's hugely unnuanced. The symptoms of ADHD that are in this symptom picture are [00:02:00] there, and for those who have the full symptom picture have it quite horrible. So it would be very misguided and arrogant and naive to claim that it's not there, it's just something that's invented. Having said that, I've also spoken to a number of psychologists and psychiatrists who actually investigate, and they're some of the ones who I think are the most skilful. But it's actually an extremely difficult diagnosis to make because the symptom picture is so broad and because many of the symptoms in the ADHD diagnosis are also included in other diagnoses or other disorders. Other disorders. Complex PTSD. If you're stressed, and you know that if you have trauma, then that's actually a huge valve. Because you have to look at so many factors to figure out what's what here and look at a person's whole life. It's not there. There's no time for that in psychiatry. I'll do it then. There is. There is no slippery slope. Then there is a paradox that a diagnosis that is really [00:03:00] difficult to make because it is so complex.
Mette Miriam Sloth: There are so many symptoms in it. It can also often point to all sorts of other things, but it's also the diagnosis that is given away like a lollipop. It gets squirted out. I don't think it's being handed out because Big Pharma psychiatry just wants to hurt you or hurt someone. I think it's being injected because a lot of people have a really, really hard time and have many of the symptoms that are part of the ADHD diagnosis. And then, in desperation, they don't know what to do. So I think what we're seeing is something exploding inside the person that comes out in ways that we try to categorise in the same autism spectrum. It's become violent or purified because there are more and more people. That's strange too. We don't understand that either. Then it's built on as Yes, you can be huge. You can be this autistic, and you can be this autistic. So it's all Autism on Spectrum is very, very broad, so maybe it's also some of what we call autistic today, which has nothing to do with what we originally define as being autism. So there's a lot going on right now, and we're [00:04:00] both in psychiatry trying to figure out what the fuck is fucking with you?
Sune Sloth: Can we just rewind? And what are the symptoms, or what are the things like.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, whatever it is. It can be a brain that's racing away. It can be very difficult to stay focused. That some things you can focus on, if boys, they can focus on games. But starting and finishing a task can be extremely difficult. The thing about pulling yourself together and completing something. Remember appointments, turn up on time. Plan a day Lots of thoughts. A lot of body anxiety can be part of it. And then you can ask if you know anything about it. So those will be some of the things. It will be some of the things that you will start to investigate. What should I be analysed for ADHD? And if you look at your life, why is it that I can't complete my education? Why can't I hold down a job? Why can't I? Why can't I? Why is it like I start something and then it falls into my hands. And [00:05:00] what I then have. And this also talked a lot about me having a lot of focus on children, where I just have to be extremely careful and investigate children too early and definitely when we investigate. So what I specialised in was again not the psychiatric diagnoses, but it was in relation to How do children react to different stressors in the environment and in the care of parents and teachers to extend people in the family? To understand how can we push a child to have the symptom picture where they actually just react? Constructively to an environment that doesn't suit them, and then by giving them a diagnosis and saying they're wrong or saying there's something wrong with you and then giving them medication, we're not removing or changing those circumstances from the child's life. And then again it's the child who has to bear the responsibility.
Sune Sloth: For a complex PTSD. Can you briefly outline what the symptoms are?
Mette Miriam Sloth: Complex PTSD can actually cause the same thing. It can give us racing thoughts, it can cause flashbacks, it [00:06:00] can cause. It can cause galloping anxiety all of a sudden and galloping out of nowhere. You might wake up, you might have dreamt in the night and wake up, so you might find it hard to focus. You may end up in a flurry of thoughts, worries, noises. Sensations can overwhelm you very quickly, making you seem aggressive and at times belligerent. Maybe even very emotionally immature because you react very violently to very small things.
Sune Sloth: What can I get? Ptsd? Not everyone is familiar with these terms.
Mette Miriam Sloth: If you have PTS quiet and.
Sune Sloth: Calm down.
Mette Miriam Sloth: If you have PTSD and you have complex PTSD, then if you have PTSD If you can say if. If you have a veteran who came home from war and has PTSD. That is, what used to be called shell shock. Then you can say that there are New Year's fireworks, the person will react with anxiety or aggression or shut down the causes that come. There are flashbacks, there are images, if the body reacts violently, as if it wants to remember what it was exposed to during the war by hearing something that reminds [00:07:00] of it. And so even though the person knows that the New Year fireworks are not dangerous, the body can. So you want to have a PDF that's linked to a specific period in the person's life where it was overwhelming. It could be a war or a specific accident. You can also have PTSD if you've been in a road accident. Has been extremely violent, where sitting in a car can escalate. It's a rape or an assault. Exactly exactly. So it's more than a specific incident or incidents with a specific theme that makes that. You see, when I get near something that smells like that, my system is activated. Then you can.
Sune Sloth: Also wake up at night sweating and remember that.
Mette Miriam Sloth: When you get flashbacks.
Sune Sloth: Come on. Can be complex and complex PTSD.
Mette Miriam Sloth: This is where it's not a single incident or a single situation. You have a whole monastery.
Sune Sloth: So what does monastery mean?
Mette Miriam Sloth: It says you have several a monastery, so you've had several incidents? You have several. You have several moulds, a cluster. [00:08:00] You have multiple forms of stimuli, multiple forms of situations that can pull you. I really want to talk about that. Want to talk about this too. But it's true. We have to not.
Sune Sloth: To lay the foundation for everyone. Yes, that's right.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And there you can say.
Sune Sloth: So it's a series of incidents, are they less violent? But, but, but, but, or you may have examples of what can happen. Could it be because you've had a mentally abusive relationship, an abusive relationship or growing up? What could be the trigger for complex PTSD?
Mette Miriam Sloth: You may have Let's say you grew up in a family where you were exposed to psychological violence. You may have had a narcissistic parent, or both of them. Or one of them was a narcissist and the other had the traits, and the other parent was too wrapped up in this or too divided to do anything about it, so you have covered up the person's behaviour. So you could say that some forms [00:09:00] of psychological violence. If you grew up with food, drinking and physical beating, then it's like it can be a little bit easier. It's not more pleasant, it's also violent, but it's like it's a little bit easier for the system can. You have a black eye, and I can see that and you tell me that no one made you breakfast because your mum was drunk. So the psychological violence is quite tangible. It can be hard to see, so if you've grown up in it, but you haven't got a black eye. You haven't been. You haven't been subjected to incest or anything else, but it's been there. You've been done wrong. You've become the production charger for the person's own feelings, and so it will have. Then it will settle, but can be hard to get hold of. Norm Difficult.
Sune Sloth: Psychological violence.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Psychological violence is like psychological violence. It will break you down. Psychological violence It may be that you are being done wrong. You get what you want to say, if you want something that your parents don't want you to want, then you're being done wrong. If you don't take care of your parents' feelings, [00:10:00] then you're selfish. If you're not living up to your parents' performance values, then there's something wrong with you. You're basically not being seen for who you are, but you're being seen as an extension of your parents' desire or inner fantasy or image of who you should be. And then you try to be forced to play that role.
Sune Sloth: It can also include controlling behaviour. Yes, enormously.
Mette Miriam Sloth: A lot, yes, and you can be. You can be shamed, and you can be mocked and belittled and ridiculed.
Sune Sloth: What?
Mette Miriam Sloth: So? Let's say you've experienced it, and then you might find yourself in a relationship where something similar happens. And then maybe you've just had a road accident where you've been completely traumatised, and then you may have had a pregnancy and a kitten. In other words, dead things that you can.
Sune Sloth: Experiencing your head or yourself and. Then there's also the job of translating into Danish, so we'll probably do that now to the topic. It's just so everyone is included. All right, then. [00:11:00] Now we've seen it in this picture, so that's more.
Mette Miriam Sloth: To say that complex PTSD can be things where you react very, very quickly to many triggers. But you don't realise it because you think Well, I have a lot of hair and I've had an abortion and many have been that I wasn't beaten in the relationship, but it was just a bit. We just had a bad bad dynamic about it, so it can end with you not understanding why you think that way. How can they feel so bad when I haven't been raped, when I haven't been stabbed in the stomach, etc. But you can have complex PTSD due to psychological violence and other events that overwhelm your system, which is not regulated. That's what it is.
Sune Sloth: There's probably also a correlation between growing up with these boundary violations and perhaps choosing a partner where it becomes normalised.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And it feels as if it's bad karma that follows you around. But what it really means is that what is familiar [00:12:00] to you, you will encounter again in someone else. And even what was not good for you is safer. You haven't been used to anything else. So it's actually breaking out of it and healing. Then you will be able to meet someone else. But I would say, as a rule of thumb, if you grew up with psychological violence, it's very likely that you'll end up in a relationship where these things occur again, where you'll hopefully be in a stronger place and be able to step out of it for good, so yes, it's not your fault that it's like that, but it takes some responsibility to step out of it. You have to get your nervous system used to staying and meeting kindness and love.
Sune Sloth: Okay, we're ready to look at this graph. Yes, yes, and there has been an increase from about 6,000 to over 20,000 in four years. Exactly!
Mette Miriam Sloth: And just understand this thing with Grundtvig. We got right into it.
Sune Sloth: In 12 [00:13:00] years.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, in 12 years. But it goes completely crazy. It goes crazy in between.
Sune Sloth: 6,000 in 2011 and ends with 21,000 in 244 in 23. Yes, then some experts come along and say it's good, because as you also said, it's good that they're investigated and discovered, so they should get help and get Ritalin or what do you get?
Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, Ritalin would be the typical one, and the problem is that it is.
Sune Sloth: The kind of amphetamine that gives you focus.
Mette Miriam Sloth: So you. You get you. You would feel if medication helps you, because it often doesn't. So can't we do that? You have something called ADHD or I wonder if ADHD always has some underlying causes we could actually work with? And I don't have one of those you can't take medication where it was works, Worx. But the challenge here is that for a lot of people, medication doesn't make any difference, so that's why. The ADHD diagnosis can really just give you such an understanding, because then I'm not completely fucked. But if I don't have any tools that can help me, then I can't move on + getting an ADHD [00:14:00] diagnosis can also make you stop your examination of yourself and your own life, and it can put you in a frame of mind that that's just why. It can actually be something that you transfer your own power to someone else or to something external.
Sune Sloth: You can think of a client that you can talk about anonymously, like How might it look in practice for a woman who approaches you like that?
Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, because, and more and more women are doing that. Or they'll come and say that they're considering being investigated, or they've been investigated. The medication isn't working, and they think that they actually want to investigate if there are other causes as well. And that's really why, because my hypothesis about why this has increased so much and the reason why we get around it, those with PTSD and complex PTSD and everything else, it's back to this. It's very difficult to diagnose, but most women, when they have surgery, maybe two 45-minute sessions with a psychiatrist. Ergo, the likelihood of it being diagnosed correctly is very small. So there's something here that [00:15:00] you choose this path. It's completely up to you. I'm just going to give you my hypothesis of what's going on. Because the way I see it is that we live in a time that is probably the most transformative time there has ever been in human history. And by transformative, you could say that there were no times when there was a civil war. But yes, it has. But it's the most transformative in the inner world, where we get paid again and again and again and again and again and again to relate to ourselves and to others. And here we seem to get down to the DNA level. As far as I'm concerned, we're where the closest I can get to that is still away.
Mette Miriam Sloth: The mystery we haven't quite dug into. We have an eating like something Neanderthal and something homo sapiens, when and when did it arise? The difference between the two species. I feel that we live in a time where we are living in a time where a whole new future man has come through us. And it may sound because it brings this with the others talking humour, so therefore it's not [00:16:00] something mysterious. It may well be presented in the News, which is very mysterious, but it's basically an evolutionary thing we know evolutionary away from ways of being human, which is basically about narcissism and psychopathy among other things. We're actually basically evolutionary away from. And being away from ways of living that are overly survival orientated, because living in survival and what so many people on the planet right now have brought us to the edge of where we know that short-term survival is pushing us into being ourselves. Self-destructive. And nature is super brilliant in combination with spiritual energy and higher frequencies. So I don't see that any of this has gone wrong. We're just looking at a place where the old is being torn up and the new is coming in. And it's extremely explosive, and you would feel that [00:17:00] inside of you, and it would give you all sorts of mysterious, mysterious symptoms that medical science is like what the hell are you going to do with that?
Sune Sloth: So you look around. It shows all narcissists and people with psychopathy and so on. They evolve. They open up. No, they don't.
Mette Miriam Sloth: It's not something we fall away from.
Sune Sloth: I know it's a stupid question.
Mette Miriam Sloth: No, but it is.
Sune Sloth: You're asking if it's ok. Is there anyone who doesn't bite? Yes, when you look around the world, you think, That doesn't apply to everyone.
Mette Miriam Sloth: They get squeezed by money. Yes, that's true. But they're not expanding. So someone dies out with the old, because like serving others also counts out. So you actually want some people to die out with the old? So right now, you start to open up and find out what's going on and start to relate to yourself and your own behaviour. Your own longing. Your dreams are starting to understand life and waking up in the way I thought life was, it's not surviving the transition, because it's huge. It can feel like you become almost psychotic sometimes and so on. And then [00:18:00] you move. Now it's extreme external pressure, accidents, accidents. You lose your job, your girlfriend leaves, your child dies. All kinds of things can happen.
Sune Sloth: Accelerated in some way, yes. And there are some people who don't evolve with it. And there are those who don't.
Mette Miriam Sloth: But those who don't evolve with you, you'll still see it almost as if they bite more around themselves and bite even more into how the world is, so they become very difficult to be with if you open up, because they will be extremely rigid.
Sune Sloth: There will be a lot of extreme friction.
Mette Miriam Sloth: There is a huge gap where we have two different types of people together. Just as other people speak Homo sapiens, they don't speak the same language. They are afraid of each other. They don't walk. They're trying. Now we can meet. Can we go to war? And then what happens? They seem to want to separate themselves more and more from each other. And it's not that I'm saying if you are, you are until you've made yourself into that's what I'm saying. I'm just saying that some of these symptoms [00:19:00] can present as ADHD, and one of the reasons why that happens is that women that's what I experience, I would like your experience with that. It's that women take. It's lying. I think it's instinctive. It's actually energetic. There is an energetic imperative for women to take more responsibility. They are pinched so that they almost compulsively realise that they have to take greater responsibility for children. Also, in a way that it sets in, as they are called to something that is very, very important.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And that's not to say that yes, I can help, but most women will still feel it, and it can feel like a huge weight has been placed on the gender that also carries the child under its heart and becomes able to have children at the age of 12 or 13 years old. That's when it emerges. So you can do it. It did this during the holidays, where I [00:20:00] felt it really deeply in my parenting. I'm like, what is this? Why is it that I feel so burdened by this? And there's so much anxiety when the baby is little and you're dying. If the child hasn't got sunscreen on and stuff like that, and it's put you through so many sides, and I've looked at the men, unless they go home, Mum died going to work, or they've swapped around and she works and Dad goes home, where he gets a touch of that when he's the primary carer, which he finds difficult.
Sune Sloth: By agreeing with her concern, well, we can give it a conceptual name, is it responsibility concrete or what it is?
Mette Miriam Sloth: It feels like concrete when we clean it and you can you you you. You're the primary carrier of it, and when it came out. Can you tell me how it feels when you took it over? Because you have a very open system? So we're kind of mixing energies.
Sune Sloth: Taken from some women. And then I got to live through it. Possibly, but it feels like. That [00:21:00] there is a. A burden of responsibility that is so heavy that you are always. Tired in deficit. Constantly having to keep an eye on What is your responsibility? And live by it? And that means that no matter if you've covered the bases for survival, there's always something you want to focus on. So, you need organic cotton, you need some kind of pacifier that has a special kind of rubber, or.
Mette Miriam Sloth: If you're planning next year's holiday, you have to.
Sune Sloth: Next year's holiday is being planned and you have to be on top of this and that. And you're running around doing the laundry and everything, as if you're always behind and burdened at the same time. And there's really no place to run to, and in that place you will be very annoyed with your husband because you will have the feeling that you can't take enough responsibility, and from that place you will find that your husband and real men do less. 70% of the housework is women. I [00:22:00] can't remember the number. But overall they say they do the same amount. But then when you go and look at it sociologically, they don't. Women do more. In general, of course, some men are the ones, but the ones who do it statistically are men. But the feeling that he doesn't help out at home, that he doesn't pay attention to the kids basically is that he's too carefree. He's too carefree. It doesn't weigh him down enough. And what she's trying here, when they have a close relationship, where he's listening and involving him in this. And then it becomes. Well, then we need this Emmaljunga, which also has this safety feature and this one has just arrived. And we also have to be aware of this. And if this happens, then the baby dies and then the baby dies and then. Thank you for tonight. But they joke about it a bit, but there's a sense of this and that.
Mette Miriam Sloth: It also needs to be said, because for some women it's very much worn out, and they feel it. It does, but for some women it's very much worn out. It's on us to ensure [00:23:00] the emotional development of the child. So you can't snatch it. It can be very violent, where the whole time you want to go into ‘This is how we do something now. If we see the child, we have a handle on attachment. Which is really what I tried to approach in my early years. I talk a lot about children. Can we solve this where she's taking on so much responsibility? And it's true that we have a big responsibility for children. But it's as if this is what I've experienced as the latest burdens.
Sune Sloth: Which is the actual weight isolated in it, and which reaches beyond. What I've experienced with different women is that they reach out in all sorts of directions, and then it has to be this way. And if it's not this way, and it's not necessarily the same, then it goes completely wrong. It has to be this way. And if you talk to her about it, you can feel that she gets so tense. And it's so important that you as a man, if you want to be accommodating, go along with it. Because you can't talk to her here, as it's imperative for her to have this [00:24:00] child that she can't let go of.
Mette Miriam Sloth: But the reason it happens and she can't control it is because it's encoded that she's being tormented, that she's constantly being called. Called to bring this out of her. I would actually say that within what I would say the last 10 years, I think we have. I think this is the main reason why many people look at women today. And then as experts get a little bit like Why is it women today? Of childbearing age seem to be so much more anxious than the last generation. And there is. And there's something about the fact that in caring we institutionalise children, and there's something. And all of it. All those pieces are contributing to it. But I think I know the root cause now. I come many and point to many causes when I wrote about children. But, but I wasn't so clear about this one. Yes, I talked about the evolutionary pressure in terms of women having to ensure the survival of the species, and that's huge. But it's like once I understand what that means, how it's experienced energetically now, it's like it's [00:25:00] an unrest. It's a primal force. It's an energetic impact imperative that's emerging in her that's driving her almost insane. And my experience is that this, it's like you have a deep layer. There have been dogmas that have lain dormant like sleep, which we haven't been able to feel until the end.
Mette Miriam Sloth: This generation hasn't been able to feel it in the same way as if they just smoked and fell asleep under the table. For the majority, this is no longer possible. It's as if this thing has been pushed up like an iceberg that has popped up. And I would say it's increased in strength and become Siemens cookies deafening, and you're almost at risk of going full-on psychotic or being medicated and not being able to sleep and feeling absolutely awful. Where it is. And that's why I find that graph so interesting. The last four or five years it's been absolutely horrendous. I would say the last 10 years I've felt it, and I've taken that trip many times. But I would say in the last is since 19 [00:26:00] actually. And that's why I think it's true even to be able to break there. That has been my own in my own. And when I've observed the energetic development and compared it to what happens in people's and stress? Sickness absences exploded. People are generally emailing in their thousands on questionnaires saying they feel more squeezed and more anxious. It's exploded since then. And there's something about these last four and five years where it's as if some layers have been peeled off, and then the matter comes tumbling up. So there have been, there have been puffs and down that we had no idea about.
Sune Sloth: Not ready to come up now, because you've worked through all those people. So it was kind of surprising that God doesn't come to you personally. I just want to see and hear what you think. Is it something that is activated when you get pregnant and have children?
Mette Miriam Sloth: I didn't have it in there.
Sune Sloth: Because when I've gone in and read and read, it doesn't [00:27:00] sense women who haven't had children.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Like it lies there dormant, and then it's activated with the child to a greater or lesser extent.
Sune Sloth: Yes, it's as if there are also levels in relation to a sexual interest, where this thing about being able to let it go, well I caught this, so sex is not at all what she thinks about, unless she wants a child.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And that's very difficult. Because sex is basically about spontaneity and pleasure and enjoyment.
Sune Sloth: But it's a lot.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Difficult and just enjoying sex for fun, because you rarely have fun when you feel the other person, so it feels like you're being weighed down like fucking concrete. And there's nothing there. And some women, if they dare to say it out loud. Then it will be like that, you know. And at some point they leave home. You were now dependent on me, and I have to take care of them if they suffer from anxiety or autism. Some of it like it doesn't stop.
Sune Sloth: It takes care of itself. It unfolds and keeps going. So the point here is that there is an energetic weight that has been there all along, but has now become apparent. If [00:28:00] you can feel Yes.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And I'm not saying that.
Sune Sloth: You feel inside yourself, but I feel it, you can go out and reach out to those who are listening and feel and try to work a little to activate, like try to focus on them.
Mette Miriam Sloth: I have to be very careful because I can activate something there, and if I'm not there to see it through, it can activate anxiety attacks, and it can activate that they actually think they'll go crazy. So you have to be very careful with that.
Sune Sloth: You won't, and it will.
Mette Miriam Sloth: I do. I can feel in myself if there are any remnants of it. It's strong just before the start, like an edge right there. But when it appeared that day during the summer holidays, there were 14 days when I and we had children. But what I can see it's different from when I had something similar to it before, I had to work on it a lot by either blaming myself for being a bad mum, or that I was freaking out about the baby. It was personified. It was there, wasn't it? The kids were great. I couldn't stand them. But it was like it just was. I just registered that there was something wrong with the kids. There was something wrong with me. But I have a colossal fatigue [00:29:00] and exhaustion and it's just like, by looking at kids not that there's something wrong with them. Seeing my kids as archetypes by throwing up.
Sune Sloth: Now you have to go to work with the little one coming up.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And sleep in.
Sune Sloth: Those who are listening, perhaps reasoning about it, so that they have control over it themselves or don't feel it.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And they don't, not to say that it's the only thing that can settle, and that it's the only weight that can settle like timber. I read in the article it says something about age, and I think it was from 26 to mid-thirties. There was an age group on there that I thought was kind of interesting that was diagnosed with ADHD. I think that's actually the most fertile period. Where it said in the article itself I was just wondering if it had a period. It [00:30:00] is like. When your baby starts to become more self-sufficient and can take care of itself more, like it kind of recedes into the background. And then it can come up again when you have grandchildren. If you're anxious about whether your child can take care of it. That eases a little now.
Sune Sloth: It's women under the age of 13 that have seen the increase, among other things.
Mette Miriam Sloth: There was also.
Sune Sloth: 80 180% increase between 18 and 40 years from 11 to 21. It's important to get it addressed in some way, because it can develop into other things.
Mette Miriam Sloth: So it's not to say that it shouldn't be addressed. Nor to say that getting a diagnosis [00:31:00] and getting help with it can't also be a viable path and can be beneficial. It's more that. I'm just interested in what I think is interesting as a phenomenon that's underneath. Yeah, exactly. And what I can see when I work with women who come in and who are either being assessed or who are considering, saying, or who say what's been said time since last time, that I've been thinking about getting assessed because it's been quite and then I actually ask them to say Can I go in and go in? Unlike men. Some men can, but most of them I can say to a woman Okay, well, even if you're not overwhelmed right now. Try to think of a situation when you last went into a mental spin and you couldn't focus on anything. You were overwhelmed. Women can go in and think about their assets. They actually seem to sit completely still, and then it just goes straight into it to a greater or lesser extent. So that's why I can actually see me going into it, going into things and you, when you're somewhere in those states where you're thinking I need to get help and get sorted out, going into them and then I do and ask them to do the reverse [00:32:00] of a mindfulness meditation instead of letting it go. So we have to go into it. And she won't do that when she's alone because going into it. If there's no one to move it for you, you'll go all the way down and then you're super scared that you'll do something to your kids or you won't come back up. But here I promise that if you dare, I promise you won't. You miss you.
Sune Sloth: And I know.
Mette Miriam Sloth: What I have. I know I preserve it, harmonise it, transform it. That's what my field can do, and that is to say, my thoughts come in, and then I can see that the mental body is completely tense, and it's almost like lightning.
Sune Sloth: But is it always the responsibility of this concrete?
Mette Miriam Sloth: No, not always.
Sune Sloth: Especially when it's young women. So there must be some other things that set it in motion, right?
Mette Miriam Sloth: It can be. Sune Sloth: Yes. I think, when I think of women, I think what I sense is that our entire orientation towards procreation is undergoing a huge change. Our whole [00:33:00] sexuality is undergoing a huge change. The women are girls and women are extreme. The centre of it, because we are the ones who carry the offspring and we are the ones who awaken the man's sexuality.
Sune Sloth: But could you say that the emphasis on responsibility also comes in other ways than getting pregnant?
Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, of course. It's something I have to take care of. Dad has to take care of the house. I have to take care of me. I have to. I have to understand other girlfriends. I have to take care of them. It's all oxytocin. Both being.
Sune Sloth: Have an education and everything under control. Yes, yes, yes, before I find a man, and then I have to have a man, and then I have to or whatever it is.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, and then I have to get an education, and then I may well get a 12, but I'm always thinking about it all the time. That thing about having to be in my head or when can you be in my body? Or is it still the case that women are affected in a different way than men because we have had to adopt and choose the masculine, which is associated. Be very much the head.
Sune Sloth: The control, which originally stemmed from the fact that we had to take care of a baby, which was the woman's. Now it may be that it provokes someone, but the woman [00:34:00] took the main responsibility because she.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Had the breasts. That's how it was.
Sune Sloth: So there has been one. It has been spread out to everything, and it's actually the reverse means that women lead in virtually all areas today, and that.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Is excellent.
Sune Sloth: It's more income and all the things I've talked about before.
Mette Miriam Sloth: But, but.
Sune Sloth: But, that is, you can get it too. You can get it through your surroundings, this weight and tap into it, if you like.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, and I think what it means is that she can kind of creak underneath, if there's an imperative for her to have the main responsibility for basically everything. When I've worked with it, it feels like it's in me. I have the main responsibility for it to survive, and I think that lies deep within women. Some like her realise it or not. And then on top of that, and it's not that I'm saying that she should just be able to take what I came up with.
Speaker3: And.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Stick with it by making a career. She should [00:35:00] definitely do that. And some women shouldn't have children at all, and that's fine. So it's more to say that I believe in that responsibility.
Sune Sloth: Programming to hold her to the responsibility unconsciously.
Mette Miriam Sloth: It's like a programming that constantly calls her to the fact that she has a responsibility for it. Something for something for something.
Sune Sloth: And then she lives it out.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And then she lives it out. So it's actually as if she looks good with children or with a career or with taking care of her sick mum. It doesn't really matter. It's like it's driving her over the edge.
Sune Sloth: If you want to consciously go in and transform this, there are a number of requirements. If you're not able to take responsibility in other ways.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Then it won't be conscious.
Sune Sloth: That you carry this because you take it in for others. You should and you do. Now you have to be aware, and there may also be others who ping in security. So if you can't go from the unconscious to the conscious and continue to take responsibility for what you have to, you have, then you're allowed to [00:36:00] if you will, take the transformation.
Mette Miriam Sloth: It's not about not being allowed. You can't because you can. It's basically about the fact that there are two things in this because you can. If you as a woman choose to say ok, I can in that return and I can see if it's for children or for friends or for sick parents or for work. Or I have to make sure the company survives or there's always cake on Fridays. You will experience that place where you feel like I have to take responsibility here and I don't want to. If I say no, I'm so afraid, I'm so afraid of being criticised or ostracised or excluded. And it comes back to you again and again and again and again and again. Women know that pattern and it's like it's deep inside you. If you want to set yourself free from it. It's possible, and it requires two things 1. That you have the ability and can feel what's going on inside you when you work on yourself and or work on how you can be with me. That is, when I say that you can go into fear of it. That you dare to go into what comes up, that you do it.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And you can feel when you're afraid of being ostracised. And now that fear and now you can feel a good pain in your stomach. That [00:37:00] you dare have Have the courage to surrender, to be with the conditions that come up. That's one thing. The other one. The other is. Then once you've landed somewhere, when you're working, then you make the country a place where you have such a. Right. Right now, I know what it feels like and in moments, what it feels like not to be not and not to feel wrong. That I'm not doing it well enough. That I'm not. This is typically linked to the woman feeling she has low self-esteem or is very nurturing. But this leads back to this. It's just variations of the same concrete that lies behind it. So when she stands there and feels ready and feels grounded and feels powerful, it's underneath this concrete, and she feels her own essence is not possible for others who are socialised and inherited, but feels her own and stands there. Then she will and then there were also Insights Then insights will naturally come to her. It can also help keep the light to say okay, those situations where I take over responsibility and run myself into the ground again and again and again.
Mette Miriam Sloth: What [00:38:00] should I do about it? Mette Miriam Sloth: So that? The second track is that you actually have to have the courage to go out and live your new field in new vigour and say No, I can't, I haven't. I can't bake until Friday. No, I don't have to give up work tasks. No mum, I'm not going to come and hold your hand this time, because I actually have to do something else and friends, and I don't really feel like it. Not right now, actually. You actually need to be able to delineate and take action in the areas where you can see that you've played out this unconscious, because you feel it's my responsibility to take, even though it's not. So the two legs, if you dare, you go out and then you experience a new layer. Then you come back. Then we work on it. Then you go out into the world again, then you act on it. If you can do those two things, there's no limit to what you can do.
Sune Sloth: Powerfulness comes. It has to settle first for clarity. Such willpower to act and action is also to say on and off. It's setting boundaries. But [00:39:00] only then can powerfulness really start to settle or kind of lose, take root or what? Yes, how do you want to.
Mette Miriam Sloth: First powerful you have to be able to feel that it's there? It's underneath all that guilt, shame and I should and ought to and have I now done and should I also and all that. And when you've kind of got it, when you've kind of landed and you can feel it physically and it can feel orgasmic, it feels ecstatic when you get powerful, and then I help you integrate it, because sometimes it can make you go out and chop someone's head off because you've made an exploit or something. Then we go through it, and it doesn't go down, and then we have to go through it. And you're going down, and it's excellent. Can imagine. We have one. We have a protected simulation where I help you and it's fine. You can get your eye down on somebody when you have your head and somebody, and then we land it that we integrate your powerfulness. You have to be able to own that you're able to rip someone's head off and then fuck off and have such a coming and then walk away without feeling the shadow of guilt. You have to be able to own that in your inner world, [00:40:00] like you're dressed up. You just have to say fuck off and you don't have to do violence. But you have to own that you have that power in you.
Sune Sloth: So it's a powerfulness that has a clarity about it. How you should act and where you can stand firm without being checked or how.
Mette Miriam Sloth: When you're integrated, then powerful, the mental canvas feels like a completely wonderful clarity where you have no doubt about your next step. It's the opposite of fast. And it's fucking amazing to be that. You know. And if you. If you. If you dare and dare to act on it. Dare to stand and get help. When the outside world, of course. If they were used to getting something from you without having to be accountable for anything, they would be just like you usually are. And why wouldn't you? When you're in that situation and it's fine without realising that this is how it is now, you have to accept it or else. Either you respect it, and we'll grow together, or the relationship will fall apart.
Sune Sloth: But [00:41:00] we have it too. We've actually found another layer or another level where you can help here, which is that you ask the person now. Now they have clarity and power. But if they think about the situation where they have to speak up and stand up for themselves, or don't do it one more time or something or say the truth out loud or something, then they get weakened again. Then you do what.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Then I ask them to say Now we do exposure therapy. You know, I'm working on it. Then I can see the different energies, tracks, stands and dams in different ways. So think about it, feel what comes up. We have a situation.
Sune Sloth: Where you are standing.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And you have to do it in your new place and so and so until you land and can do it well. I can do that, and then I'll be fine. How it feels very calm, I could actually do that. Think of a new scenario. Now it comes spontaneously. Okay, then I imagine that I've said it's fine, but then they gossip behind my back, and then someone else is about to exclude me, and then it makes me run. Then I don't dare say [00:42:00] no, and then I work on it and stuff. Okay, I can stand that. Nice next, you know. My whole family turns their back on me if that's the risk. Good Imagine that, you know, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make it financially into it, and then we keep going until the last one runs out. And then I say that more is coming up. Is that how it is right now? No, and then you can be like Okay, and there you still have it. It's not necessarily pleasant to have to do this, although it will never be pleasant to go to war. It's not supposed to be. It's not the same as it being necessary.
Sune Sloth: There is tension in it, and you can get used to that state of friction in relation to vigour and actually enjoy standing in your vigour, where you stand in your function.
Mette Miriam Sloth: That's what's there.
Sune Sloth: That it.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Like tipping points are like tipping points. When you work with the lower chakras, that is, your root and your hara, i.e. your uterus and solar plexus, your stomach. When you, when you've done so much work that they become filled with light, you see so much cleared up in your own personal history, in what you have inherited and what lies [00:43:00] epigenetic past lives. What lies within the limitations that you have from before you incarnated and just like chewed through a lot of those layers. So eventually you'll find that it's like when you're standing in something that before would make you shit your pants and lay down flat in collapse, you feel the friction as a buzzing excitement. Not psychopathic, but more of one.
Speaker3: U.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Creative power to it. I can master doing this in the most elegant, most beautiful way for the whole, where I do the least damage to others, but at the same time I stand so you can, because you can accommodate friction. But you actually feel it more from the heart upwards. And that's just said chakra to lock.
Sune Sloth: This is the one where you can say the polarity between being powerful towards another person versus being powerless, which is the low frequency mass in the nervous system. Yeah, or but then facing feeling powerful in clarity, [00:44:00] exactly so. So that means it can be gathered, so you. You actually get to examine your powerlessness tracking.
Mette Miriam Sloth: You actually get your whole head. You actually get the whole submission room transposed over, so the whole powerless power game.
Sune Sloth: People come in under you and someone decides. Your free will is challenged or you feel like overriding someone else's free will because you feel pressurised has been a dynamic.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Because you transcend to say This is my reality, this. I am standing. You are welcome to do something else and say I won't be a part of that, but I won't allow you to be destructive to me.
Sune Sloth: Or my children.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, exactly. Exactly. It's so hard to work with. Then you actually elevate powerlessness in the power game to powerfulness.
Sune Sloth: So we've covered a lot of ground here. And when you go into it, it closes. It becomes dark. Then [00:45:00] light starts to come. I've experienced it myself. We've worked with it and then light starts to come. Then we can actually figure it out. That's the way to go. Then you can retreat, stand in the heart chakra or in the heart. And then we can explore another track. And that is, there can be a further investigation of what to do in that phase. And of course, this is something you have to do several times, because it's not something that anyone does very, very quickly.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And I would say it depends on where they are in their journey, if they've worked a lot on themselves and have been through something, and then those women who have been through three failed marriages have been ready to lose children and regain them. And you've been through cancer and have taken care of it and looked at it and what I knew about it. And what do I need to learn and what do I need to clear up in those women? You know and have worked with energy, it's just. They just go in and listen. Listen, listen and find out. Great, you know. And they're not better than anything else, but sometimes you're in a different place. You can feel when you have that. Phew, I can feel that I'm like a [00:46:00] 13 year old when it comes to relational and feel like a 110 year old when it comes to wisdom about something else. What can I do about that discrepancy?
Sune Sloth: So there's also another thing in that some of these clues are actually astral, and that is. People have taken different actions. Traces have been added that you've actually tried once yourself, or that are just there because someone unconsciously does it. We have made.
Mette Miriam Sloth: So many unconscious actions, chains or.
Sune Sloth: And that is to say, there are some of the things you think it can unfold into, which are fear scenarios that are because it has happened elsewhere.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Jes looks at unrecognised longing, unrecognised desire and unrecognised fear. You've acted on all sorts of things that have created all sorts of fuss, and it's down here energetically as not yet finalised. Basically. Part of what we call karma.
Sune Sloth: It actually also transforms the way that potential transformation from others will make.
Mette Miriam Sloth: That's what you do. The fact that you both make sure that you as.
Sune Sloth: We [00:47:00] interfere in that way, but that you do it.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Easier for people not to fall into these molehills that don't want to. Because you actually clean up the collective field by taking care and finding clarity in your own path and not unconsciously acting like a headless chicken.
Sune Sloth: So as soon as a person begins to gain consciousness in all these paths, looking at it soberly with light with all experiences with everyone. All angles are present, because when you work, consciousness gathers everything that has happened in clarity. And that is, it's clear that if you're in life and you don't have experience with something, you also need to seek advice or you need to try things out. Or since you haven't tried relationships, and you haven't tried longing and trying to be disappointed, and you haven't got your bad boy, or you haven't tried dealing with children in some case or another, then you have to go out and have an experience or you have to. You've got to go out and get it, just for like you've got to go out and get advice. There [00:48:00] are possible ways where it goes wrong, but.
Mette Miriam Sloth: It shouldn't. That's the part of the road where there's something wrong with it.
Sune Sloth: So there's also something about gathering experience or having enough knowledge or being good enough to feel into others to understand what they do.
Mette Miriam Sloth: That's what I love about being. Now I'm approaching the next basic feeling of 50 and not 45. And the thing about looking back on my life and getting to the point where I can see that it was absolutely right that I met my first husband and married him. It was the right thing to do. The things we explored, it was the right thing to have our son. It was the right thing to say not to have any more children. It was the right thing to do and act on it. That's when we realised that we're done. We're not going to be married anymore. It's like you can. You can accommodate the things you don't have time for. Then I made a mistake. I never meant for them to end up. I can see what my younger and more unconscious self has had to go out and investigate and work out and find out and feel used. And the dynamics that I got myself into where I gave way too much and where I made drama tapes that I [00:49:00] thought was standing by my soul with all that. It makes complete sense. So there's also a gentleness towards your own journey when you dare to do this, rather than beating yourself over the head with the choices you've made.
Sune Sloth: So there will be a wrap up. In other words, you could say that the past corrects itself in the current situation. In other words, all those experiences begin to accumulate in your world, an understanding, where you can sense in the present tense that now he's doing that thing where he used to manipulate me or try to lie about something. And it just looks from the surface. It doesn't hold up.
Mette Miriam Sloth: I was part of that dynamic and got caught up in it, and that's what it was. But I don't want to participate anymore.
Sune Sloth: Lying, where I don't participate when I say no or.
Mette Miriam Sloth: See you.
Sune Sloth: So it's actually also about freeing yourself from the polarity of the roles. Yes, much of what we have left. It was [00:50:00] time we had talked about that in our episode Thirty-Four it is and we talk about. Archetypes roles we play out. I won, of course. So there's also something about stepping out of the polarised roles of victim, executioner, king. You know, Klods Hans, whatever polarisation there is in that. Because the experiences accumulate in a human being that you can walk away from beheading someone. We don't recommend it. But to being Mother Teresa and always, if nothing else, being forgiven for everything to be hung on the cross or whatever the hell it is. You get.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Very nuanced picture of both.
Sune Sloth: Darkness and light. Everyone has to go through all polarisations, but by working with the archetypes you get into and the roles [00:51:00] you play, you can shed light on them and they can transform so that you become more conscious and can play that role. You don't actually have to go into more for you. That transformation is not necessary to play that role. And then we can lift it above the archetypes, above. Now I'm going to play heroes. Now I'm going to play. You know what I mean.
Mette Miriam Sloth: You, you, you, you, you, you, you, we, we. It exists right now. There we are. In fact, we actually transcend the archetypes. They're starting to be moved, and we're going to talk a lot more about that.
Sune Sloth: We've talked a little bit about in episode 34, so we'll wrap it up for today and thank you for listening.
Mette Miriam Sloth: And do you need help? If this resonates with you and you're curious to explore it further, book an initial appointment and see if it could be you.
Sune Sloth: Remember we also have workshops.
Mette Miriam Sloth: Where we also work with it today.
Sune Sloth: We also work with them, and then we sometimes have something we call a lounge, which is a short, two, one and a half hour session where we do some energy work and get into [00:52:00] a topic.
Mette Miriam Sloth: We're also very welcome if you just want to get a little flavour of What is that? How do I respond to energy work?
Sune Sloth: What does it work for me? Does it do anything for me? As always, be sceptical.
Speaker3: And.
Sune Sloth: Critical. Have your own hand and stick to your own opinion. We can take it. And if this is about you actually moving yourself in the way you long for, then take that with you when you go out. Not just with yourself, but with everyone else. It's not a matter of believing in someone, it's a matter of seeing the changes in your own life in your own system. So thank you for listening. Talk to you again. Bye.
