Podcast E10: Key Points about the Masculine and Feminine Journey

Podcast E10 highlights key takeaways from "The Masculine Journey." For women: Understand that you're not responsible for a man's immaturity. For men: This journey requires confronting inner pain, prioritizing connection, and respecting a woman's freedom to choose you. This podcast offers inspiration, not a formula, for navigating modern relationships.

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  Many women end up taking on the man's immaturity as if they are always the problem. In this way, the man avoids responsibility for the relationship by pointing at her. This makes women feel ashamed and feel that they have to "work on themselves." But it may also just be that your body has shut down so many times that it says: No thanks.

  There is a feminine spiritual power that can awaken the man - but it is not certain that he wants to be awakened. In a relationship, the woman is forced to develop the ability to discern what is her own. And learn not to take things on herself that are not her own.

  Not everyone wants a deep love relationship. You cannot have enough love for both of you - he must also want a deep love relationship.

  Key Points for Him:

  We also talk about what it takes for a man to take the journey together with the woman he has chosen to focus his attention on, and allows to open his heart to.

  The podcast deals with, among other things, how a man can be aware of his drives and work with them, and integrate them so that they do not distract from what he wants to focus on, but instead, over time, can become an experience of feeling more and more powerful and at peace.

  He must be willing to stand in deep inner pain and choose connection instead of withdrawing from her when he locks up inside or judges her. Especially it is difficult if she rejects him and it hurts deep inside the heart, but he must be able to stand and risk the relationship while showing his deep intention for her.

  Here he must hold on to the fact that he wants to continue the journey, but with respect for her full freedom to choose him again and again, and dare to be in the pain.

  We share our joint journey with you as an example, and not a definitive formula, and we do so in the hope that our journey can be an inspiration to others.

• Transcript

  Translated transcript of the original Danish podcast

  Hosts: Mette Miriam Sloth & Sune Sloth

  How can I get really sharp at figuring out what is mine and what is not mine? And also if I know what's mine, but I can see that he keeps avoiding and taking responsibility. So it's been a journey in terms of picking up on those cues and saying, okay, if I know that no, I don't want to do that, I set a limit or no, how does he react? Can he handle it? Or does he start to get on me, does he start to try to put pressure on me, that is, with his structure and in his circumstance to pressure me to take something on, that is, to use my courage in various other ways, so that he abdicates responsibility. And I can see that I've also been a scaling. I've been in relationships where I've taken an enormous amount of responsibility and always thought it was me who had to work on mine, and where I can see that nothing was being worked on. There was a lot of talk about work. We did there, right? And until I kind of realized that it's like, okay, it's really a trap, and I see a lot of women fall into that, that they take on. I also had a difficult childhood, so I can understand that I must be difficult to be around. So it's like all the arguments, all the difficult things in the relationship have something to do with her. And phew, there's something wrong with me too, because I don't want to have sex. Then there's also something wrong with my sexuality. It could also just be that you've hit on that man so many times that it's not good to invite him in. Your body simply says no freaking way. He should not be invited in. I had to let go of my illusion that all people seek to reach beyond themselves in love. They don't. Not everyone wants a deep love relationship. I am completely convinced of that in my island of naivety. It really isn't. And it was when I became aware of God that I produced this in some partner, who then just thought, that's a hell of a lot, because then I'd be alone and you know, there's something about that, right? Just like, okay, we don't have to talk about these things, but what do you really want out of a relationship? That's one thing. And then you have to be aware that you can meet a man who is really good at talking about things, but who doesn't act on it, who keeps talking, talking, talking, but who doesn't act. And it's really a father, it's really a danger signal in men that they can be really good at mimicking the whole giraffe language, the psychological conversation, and now we have to work too, and I can see and hear and blah blah. But lately, when his behavior remains unchanged, how can I become extremely sharp at finding out what is mine and what is not mine? And also if I know what is mine, but I can see he keeps avoiding and taking responsibility. So it's been a journey in terms of picking up on those cues and saying okay if I know that no, I don't want to do that, I set a limit or no, how does he react? Can he handle it or does he start to pick on me? Does he start trying to put pressure on me with his structure and in his immaturity and pressure me to take something on me, to use my goodness in various other ways so that he disclaims responsibility. And you see, I've also been a scaling. I've been in relationships where I've taken an enormous amount of responsibility and always thought it was me who had to work on mine, and where I can see that we didn't work on anything, we talked a lot about work. We did there, right? And until I kind of realized that it's like, okay, it's really a trap, and I see a lot of women fall into that, that they take on. I also had a difficult childhood, so I can understand that I must be difficult to be around. So that's how they entered all the arguments, all the difficult things in the relationship are something to do with her. And phew, there's something wrong with me too, because I don't feel like sex, so there's also something wrong with my sexuality. It could also just be that you've hit on that man so many times that it's not good to invite him in. Your op simply says no freaking way, he should not be invited in. So you need to actually know that you're willing to take the journey and you're willing to do that. You can't talk yourself out of it, and you can't go to therapy and sit once a month and then sit and talk about something, and then and then it resolves itself in you.

  Mm.

  You have to go in every single time something hurts. Every time something is uncomfortable, you have to go in and completely attract it, turn it upside down, find out what is mine and what should I lovingly say? No, this is yours, I'm not going to take this on. And then hold on. You have to learn to differentiate. If you don't learn to differentiate, then you're f*****.

  So then you're messing around.

  So that's what I've been focusing on for years when I work with women, and practicing discernment in relation to what the hell am I feeling and why,

  you accept that there are dark spots in the relationship where you shouldn't be dealing with each other, you shouldn't be meeting. There will be taboo areas and it will spread over time.

  Mm.

  So your connection will become less and less, and thus the potential is closed.

  Mm.

  What we're talking about here is actually almost doing the opposite. We're not seeking the darkness.

  No, no, no, no, no, no.

  We allow it to arise.

  We deal with it when it's there.

  When the longing for connection, the longing for love, but also the longing for sex gets us close to each other, it comes up on its own.

  Mm. You can't avoid it. You will bump into it in your interactions.

  So it's neither consciously seeking it out, but not rejecting it either. And then when it comes, it is, what do you do?

  Exactly.

  And who is in charge of what? And is it something that was actually, for example, as for us, something between us? It's the subtle one that had a past that we didn't know existed Jam We met under completely different premises than what we met then, which was about both of us being interested in polarity and how we could work with it

  we both had data and some of John Winland and you know, things like that

  m

  And I was at the point where I thought I'd like to do it with a woman.

  Mm.

  I want a woman where I can open up and where I can develop my maturity where I can develop my heart

  m

  in all the pain that's in it. And I knew somewhere that it took a lot out of a woman, because I didn't realize until later how much darkness I had with me, and how much weight I had with me

  that it took an enormous amount of you to stand in. And I want to do that,

  I'm deeply grateful that you held on, when you doubted, I held on to say to you,

  that yes,

  I've had to come to terms with the fact that you may not be able to do it anymore and so on, but at the same time say, I want you, I want to keep going because I want to be with you.

  Mm. Not for the journey, not for my development. I want to be with you.

  M. Mm.

  And so that there is no doubt in her mind, in the woman's mind, that you stand firm that you want to.

  Mm.

  So when she flutters, and you know you want to, and you can stand in and dare to stand in, yes, she may reject you, but you still keep your heart open. That's what's crucial.

  Mm.

  Well, there's a message here that it can be done, and it's a hard journey, but it's also wonderful.

  Mm.

  And it's

  And it's getting more and more wonderful.

  And yes, there is certainly a we there must be other men out there who are ready for it. We just haven't met them, but we haven't bumped into them ourselves.

  We haven't. And that's not to throw all men into one category. It's simply that there's something quite special when a man expresses a longing to connect deeply.

  You very, very rarely see that.

  And that's, that's, that's where I have such, uh, it's exciting.

  No, no, no, no, no, no.

  But you kind of have to be aligned in some way that you want that as well as you want love.

  Exactly. We can't impose our own longing on someone else. We can only resonate and then we have to vibrate together.

  We can't pull the other person who has to start with you, you almost have to start with the one where you say God

  what do you really want?

  You long for this, that we can go deeper, that we can allow things to come up. We can hold each other and we can love each other and we have a hell of a time allowing it to transform us and figure out how to come out the other side.

  Are you interested in that?

  It's actually about you going out and that and scaring the person on the date away.

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  By being so honest

  all sorts of other or things that are tightening around that you can't ignore. Uh, if that doesn't overshadow what it says, well then it's probably not for you and leave it at that.

  But this is really meant for those who might be there as an information or a

  a hope, a longing. Mm.