The Conscious Choice of Partner
When we talk about polarity and consciousness, choosing a partner is naturally about much more than just finding an attractive partner and clicking wonderfully together in bed. It also goes beyond whether the person shares your interests, goals in life, or your dream of family and children, even though these things are also important. Going the way towards a deeper connection requires more than that. It is about taking on the realization that many relationships at some point come to a standstill sexually and setting out to break the pattern and find a new path.
Understanding Your Own Patterns
It is about understanding yourself and your own patterns where you have a common dedication and intention to go deeper together. Finding a partner who is ready to "take the journey" with you towards increased maturity requires that you take the journey upon yourself and dedicate yourself to the desire for a deeper connection in love and ecstasy. It can only be a conscious choice and cannot be "smuggled in" without awareness and a specific desire from both parties.
The Open Dialogue
It requires an open conversation about "taking the journey" together, regardless of whether you are already together or you are about to meet for the first time. That is why we have created this guide, which may be a starting point for a dialogue about your wishes and desires. This is not a bible or "this is the way," but can be used as a starting point for a dialogue about how you want to take the path together towards a deeper relational connection.
Intimacy and Vulnerability
The partner choice we are talking about here is about wanting to enter into an intimate relationship where, in addition to the sexual and romantic, it is also possible to open up together - in vulnerability and pain - and work towards an even deeper connection than you have ever experienced before by daring to go deep with everything that lies beneath the surface. It is about inviting both ecstasy and pain in, which comes with opening up together. It therefore requires a joint decision, because most people try to avoid pain if there is no deeper meaning to meeting it. There is a deeper meaning - and it is possible.
Living Life More Fully
It is about living life more fully and feeling a call in your heart that something is possible - not just alone, but with another human being. It is not about using another human being to become more "spiritual" or developed. It is about the fact that in your heart you feel a love that you want to unfold more together with a person where the heart calls for a deeper connection, and you sense that something more beautiful is possible.
Opening Up Together
It is about opening up together, developing together, and opening the heart on a shared journey. It requires a great deal of courage from both parties, and you are helping to pave the way as pioneers if you choose this path, which is certainly not for everyone. The path can be demanding because it also includes that you encounter deep inner pain when you open up together.
Doubt and Clarity in Partner Choice
If you are at the beginning and considering whether your current partner can join you, and you cannot get your partner to talk, it may be necessary to take the journey alone for a while without leaving the relationship. Take the time to unpack your own inner self before you gain clarity about whether to choose your current partner or leave them. It may be that you need to work more on yourself until you reach a point where doubt turns into clarity.
Conscious Choice of Partner
If you are on the other side, out of a relationship and want to choose more consciously next time, our advice is clear: Get a handle on your own maturity journey, work with your inner states (see our solo articles), then it will be much easier for you to see who is ready to take the journey with you. The more you work with your own, the clearer it becomes where another person stands, both now and in their potential.
Different Stages of Development
Understand it this way: From an immature perspective, there is no difference between the stages, but from a more mature place, you begin to be able to distinguish more and more clearly who is ready to take the journey with you.
We are in a time where opening up together and going the way towards stage 3 is a possibility that few choose and have the opportunity for in practice, and which probably not so many get the pleasure of trying in reality in the age we live in. We see that it is the future, perhaps in many thousands of years.
Sources: Conversations with my imaginary daughter, by Mette Miriam Sloth. Listen to podcast episodes 9 and 20 for more information. In addition, we are inspired by David Deida's work.
