Shadow Aspects in the Relationship

Working with shadow aspects in the relationship is an important part of developing a healthy and balanced relationship. Shadow aspects represent the unconscious aspects of ourselves that we often try to suppress or ignore, and is a concept developed by C.G. Jung. These can be negative emotions, unresolved traumas, inappropriate patterns of action, or hidden sides of our personality that play out as the shadow in the space we do not want to be, and which we would like to blame our partner or others for. If you are caught in chronic narcissistic defenses permanently, you will always shift the blame to others. Most others "wake up" to the fact that they have gone too far and seek reunification after a conflict.

The Relationship as a Mirror of Your Inner Self

The relationship can act as a mirror that reveals our shadow aspects. The close contact and especially the physical intimacy we share with our partner can trigger deep reactions and emotions that we were not even aware that we were carrying. It is important to remember that this is not unique to the relationship; it is part of human nature and can also arise with our children. Being pressured into a situation where you encounter your own limitations and locks and "overflow" is a natural and necessary part of growth and development.

Working with Shadow Aspects in the Relationship

• Awareness of Projections: The relationship can be a catalyst for bringing our unresolved traumas and shadow aspects to light. It is important to be aware of your own projections and to avoid "further traumatizing each other." Often it is about being able to recognize when you attribute feelings or intentions to your partner that actually stem from your own baggage.

• Responsibility for Own Energy: Taking responsibility for your own energy is crucial to avoid projecting your unresolved problems onto your partner. It is about becoming aware of your own reaction patterns, working to regulate your own emotions and withdrawing your own energy home. It is absolutely necessary to look honestly at your own patterns and identify where you tend to react inappropriately.

• Communication: Being able to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings, needs, and boundaries is a prerequisite for working with shadow aspects in the relationship. It is about creating a safe space where both parties feel safe sharing their vulnerability. Putting words to difficult feelings and experiences can be a powerful way to break with inappropriate patterns.

• Acceptance and Compassion: Working with shadow aspects requires acceptance and compassion, both for yourself and your partner. It is a process that takes time, and there will be setbacks along the way. The most important thing is to be patient and support each other on the journey. Remembering that everyone carries shadow aspects and that it is part of the human experience can help create a more inclusive and understanding atmosphere in the relationship.

• Professional Help: In many cases, it may be necessary to seek professional help to work with shadow aspects in the relationship. A therapist can offer a neutral and supportive space where you can explore the challenges you face. With us, we also offer energy work.

In addition to this specific advice, it is important to remember that working with shadow aspects is a continuous process that requires attention, commitment, and buy-in from both parties. By being willing to look inward, take responsibility, and communicate openly, the relationship can become a strong foundation for personal growth.