Podcast E29: How to Work with Difficult Emotions

Episode E29 is a two-part podcast focusing on women's challenges with difficult emotional states and providing strategies for managing them. Hosts Mette and Sune explore the female psyche and emphasize the importance of self-awareness and taking responsibility for creating a more balanced and empowered life.

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  Women's "Locked" States:

  The podcast introduces the concept of women's "locked" states, where they can feel overwhelmed by emotions and have difficulty managing them. These states can manifest as:

  • Discomfort and restlessness without a clear cause

  • Irritability and outbursts of anger

  • A feeling of being trapped and powerless

  • A tendency to project one's emotions onto others, especially the partner

  E29 emphasizes that these states are not a sign of weakness, but rather a part of the female nature and cycle. It's about recognizing these states, taking responsibility for them, and learning to navigate them in a healthy and constructive way.

  Responsibility and Self-Awareness:

  E29 underscores the importance of self-awareness and taking responsibility for managing difficult emotional states. Women are encouraged to:

  • Recognize their emotions and behavioral patterns

  • Stop blaming others for their condition

  • Take responsibility for their own healing process

  The podcast cautions against giving in to the temptation to seek confirmation and support in "immature" communities where one avoids taking responsibility for their own life. Instead of seeking validation from others, women are encouraged to look inward and find strength within themselves.

  Strategies for Working with Difficult Emotions:

  E29 presents various strategies for working with difficult emotions:

  • Allow the Emotions to Be There: Instead of suppressing or fighting emotions, it's about giving them space and allowing them to move through the body.

  • Feel the Emotions in the Body: By paying attention to the physical sensations that accompany emotions, one can gain a deeper understanding of them and learn to manage them more effectively.

  • Be Curious About the Emotions: Ask yourself what the emotions are trying to tell you. What is the message behind the discomfort?

  • Energy Work: The podcast mentions energy work as an effective tool for processing and transforming difficult emotions.

  • Exposure Therapy: By gradually exposing oneself to the situations that trigger the difficult emotions, one can build resilience and learn to manage them more effectively.

  The Masculine Partner's Role:

  E29 also touches on the masculine partner's role in supporting the woman in her process. The podcast emphasizes that although the man can be a source of support and care, it is ultimately the woman's own responsibility to work with her emotions. The man is encouraged to:

  • Give the woman space to withdraw and process her emotions

  • Be patient and understanding of her process

  • Avoid trying to "fix" her or her emotions

  • Stand in his own power and avoid feeling threatened by the woman's strength

  Transformation and Empowerment:

  E29 highlights that working with one's difficult emotions can lead to a deep transformation and an increased sense of empowerment. By confronting and processing one's shadows and traumas, the woman can free herself from old patterns and find her authentic strength. The podcast emphasizes that this process can be challenging, but that it is ultimately a journey towards greater freedom, joy, and love.

• Transcript

  Translated transcript of the original Danish podcast

  Hosts: Mette Miriam Sloth & Sune Sloth

  Sune Sloth: Welcome to the Magdalene Effect podcast episode 29. Part 1 of 2. Mette introduces today's theme.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, I would like to. A few episodes ago, we talked about the man's lockdowns and just where he is in his consciousness and his taking responsibility ideas how she can support him. Episode 27 18 27 If you haven't heard it, you can go and find it. And it has such an equivalent in this woman. She wasn't lying so there's something else that. I would say all women come out in. In their journey through life, they are in their relationships, and that's an element of the woman that we would rather not recognise. And that's actually what we're going to talk about today. We're going to zoom in, and we've also done other podcasts where we talk about her not feeling seen and met by the man and her longing, and that she's fickle in her emotions. And all of that is exactly as it should be. But what we're going to look at today is the flip side or the side effects of having had a lot of big swings in the emotional body, if you like, in the emotions and the journey through it, where there is a potential for emotional maturity, but where we can also get caught in immaturity. And I would say there's not a single woman, myself included, who can escape that. Having places in your emotional register that are immature. And I would actually say that's probably where we women are.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: So we have our biggest blind spot. It was emotional immaturity. And that's the place where we mostly have to convince ourselves that we're on the right track, but that it's basically called the arse. And it's a difficult place and it's a challenging place. There are a lot of things that make it difficult for her, but it's really important that we talk about this because if you listen and have followed our work for a while, you'll know that we. We don't mince words when it comes to pointing out the places in human behaviour that are difficult, destructive and self-destructive and where responsibility needs to be taken. And we certainly don't mince words when it comes to men's responsibility either. We may have disappointed women a little, or maybe we haven't elaborated much on this particular area, and that's what we're going to do today. It's the woman's blind spot in relation to her own emotional immaturity, and they have places they can mature, but he can't mature them for her in the same way that she can't walk the path in relation to his conscious limitations. So in that sense, it's completely equivalent to where he is. Only she can take responsibility for that. He can support her, but it's she who has to take responsibility.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: And one of the most important areas of responsibility is actually to recognise and acknowledge the real need for self-awareness here. That someone will make you behave like an insufferable 3-year-old emotionally. And when I look back on my own relationship time, early relationships are that. Sometimes it's mind-numbing for me to go through the behaviour that you do in your late early twenties. Man, I'm unbearable. Well, not always, but often I can see it and I don't think you're off the hook. So you've also seen aspects of me in immaturity sailing around in some kind of emotional mess. So I think maybe the best thing is to zoom in on this and try to pinpoint what the hell does it look like? And then you also see yourself and ask yourself how it feels and experience it in a male body when we women have it? Because I'm quite excruciating. And that place in the woman when she ends up there, and I know woman, I know you know it, you know you know the question is really just whether you want to take responsibility for it. It's this place. Your average staying place you wake up or experience during the day that you're in such a place that you don't feel very good. You feel weird and it's driving you around emotionally, but you don't really know why. And that. There's this tension in you of discomfort, which is very difficult, especially the younger you are, is very, very difficult for you to contain, and so in your mind you start trying to find someone you can put in charge of this.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Then there will be a pull for you when you're here. You feel something indefinably uncomfortable inside you, and then you'll want someone to take responsibility. It's someone's fault. Firstly, someone has to make it right. And this is where you can really start to act like a little kid. And when you're here because you're trapped in your emotions without really knowing why, or there hasn't been a situation, then your partner comes home and he hasn't been there, so he doesn't know yet what has nothing to do with him. But you can very quickly in your mind make it do all sorts of things to him, so there are all sorts of reasons why you feel the way you do, and he should make you realise that. And what he should see you deeper here and all that is all possible. He should do that. But in these situations, you have some genuine feelings in you where he has reached his limits. I have joked to him, as you are his oracle here, but those are not the situations this podcast is about.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: This podcast is about the times when it has nothing to do with him, it's inside yourself. It's actually when he tells you there's something inside you. It has nothing to do with me, I do. That's when he's right. Because sometimes all this stuff is inside you, and it has nothing to do with anything external. But you can't hold it in, so you have to try to project it onto the outside world and your partner. Typically the one who gets the biggest blow, and then you go around yourself because you can't. When you're trapped in emotions, you can't really talk. You can't speak to your need to that point. You don't know why you feel the way you feel, and when you're trapped in emotions, they send his and more immature kind of that you can't deal with this. You can learn to take responsibility for it. Then you expect someone to be able to see that people have to be mind readers and have to be able to read you and can reach out and say somehow you're kind of like a three-year-old who's got a temperature like a tantrum and they're too tired or too hungry or too angry or something. And typically you're just an adult body. So of course you react a little bit physically, a little less violently, but you may still want to lash out with words and with your physique.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Then he gets what you want. You can't actually see that I need him. You also have to leave at the same time, but you can't leave if it's going round inside you. So your body language will be that you're trying to be all moody and stuffy and irritable and walking around like a wounded animal, almost without being able to put it into words, when he asks, a little worried, Are you okay and are you going to be sick? He might bring someone, you know. He's trying to find out in his own way how he's feeling. He has no idea what's going on and there's nothing he and you're here, there's nothing anyone can do for you. So then it's like that, even if someone tries to cook it. Just it's never good enough. So he's also like kind of fuck here because if he tries to reach out, then you're just going to get all hot and bothered by you anyway as if you you you need. You are the you. You're almost hoping that he'll mess up. That he does something bad so you can take this tension inside you and really blame him for it. And then you unload it on him. The problem is that he gets really confused, and sometimes you can actually get away with creating a huge drama.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: That you're actually the closest. Sometimes you can even see yourself from the outside, that you're making things up. You're half-lying or pulling on the past. Sometimes it's completely unconscious for you, and then the train just goes. Other times when you want to mature a bit, you start to see that you're going to do it when you allow yourself to fall into that, and it's so satisfying to start seeing. His eyes flicker and he starts to walk out of it, having done something or other. You're also really upset, and it's not because you're deliberately manipulating, but the tension there is actually so uncomfortable that you may well grab hold of something in the past, or you didn't say goodbye this morning. You realise you've let me down in a hugely dramatic way. You can get all drama queen crazy, really annoying, really annoying and it's going round and round. And. Either. There can be different stages of this depending on your age and your maturity and whether you wake up in it down. And you can get completely taken over by an unconscious train, and then you lash out at him and then depending on what happens from there. In the end, you can actually succeed in getting him to take on something called Ass out of your head out of your arse or break the past.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: More desperation, not a deliberate manipulation, but desperation about can't you take this tension out? And I can't handle it. Can't stand it myself, and then you can actually get him to the point where he takes on something that he should never have taken on. And then you get a little smile and it relieves the tension. And you could say that if you're actually going to be this immature woman, you're actually going to ruin your man. There's a seriousness to this, and then that's going to decide as well. He can destroy you if he gets really edgy and takes his celebrity out on you and makes you wrong when you shake his worldview. So we need to be aware that our immaturity here can be very destructive. And so it's really important that we women take responsibility for this and mature in it. So that's the one part that you get him to take on, which helps you with. Like it was nice, like when he takes on some excitement with something, he'll be really nice and give you a foot massage or buy you another food or whatever it might be. It could also be that if he doesn't do that and maybe isn't at home or leaves or has to go or something like that, that it doesn't land there.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: You can also sometimes get yourself completely out of it. You can end up in a place where, when you're here, you try to avoid this place. So it's like there's no one who wants to take this on. If you don't succeed in getting someone to take something on, that it's their fault, or that it's a shame for you. You'll end up falling into the victim role, or that someone else has done this to you, so that there's no one to take some of the burden or tension off you. Then what can happen is that you try to relieve it where you want pleasure. You want to. You want your own kind of crack and you make your own trajectory that you seek. Whether it's seeking the kick, looking at shoes, going on Instagram, fantasising about your next child or fantasising about getting a bigger garden. Or you can You can try it without any projects, that if I just got it like this, or if I got these clothes, or if I kept my feelings that way with the food and the people that came. If you have a fantasy of what it would be like for you to have something that you're so aware that you can do, as a woman, you use your fantasy that it would be nice if something on the outside was in a different way.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: And then your husband can help you build a bigger house until you want to spend some money and buy something. And it's not that there's anything wrong with getting a bigger house or having a birthday or buying some shoes. But if you do this, if you do this kind of placement, if you shift the focus of the discomfort and think that it will be fixed by creating the expectation of something nice on the outside, then you're running away from the discomfort inside you. I understand why you flee, because that discomfort feels like death when you eventually get so tired of this pattern in yourself. When you realise how destructive it is for your loved ones, that you are locking this discomfort out on them, that they have to take care of you in it. Then you begin. Surrender to falling into the discomfort instead of holding the tension in your chest. It's insanely uncomfortable because it feels like when you feel yourself falling into it, everything stops. It feels like a death. It's very uncomfortable in a female system that things stagnate or stand still.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: So it takes a lot of courage in the same way. It takes a lot of courage for a man to challenge his own beliefs about how the world is written and constructed, his mental beliefs and his mental locks. Then it takes an insane amount of courage for you to dive into this and let yourself fall into it. So I understand that you're running away, so no one can pass judgement on it. I've been running for years and I can still do it. I still have these gaps where I end up in one. I wake up one day and I'm in a weird emotional place where I have no idea what the hell is going on inside me. I think the only difference to my younger self, who kind of got it, washed out to sea. Men would rather sit around and victimise me, and so I've been reminded of that. And so up until now. So the only difference is that it happens a little bit. It happens less, but it still happens. And the other difference is that. I think you have to choose whether it's real or it's called raw. And I think that I project it out to a lesser extent than I did before. That I'm better able to stand there with excitement and say I'm a funky place that knows something that works, but I have to take care of it. So you don't want to comment on that. Whether it's right. You ask them.

  Sune Sloth: To comment on your emotional maturity? Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: When I ask you to comment on whether it's a correct reflection of my own behaviour.

  Sune Sloth: So what I think you're doing in relation to I've had a number of long-term relationships. What you do and have always done is that you want to blame yourself or I know out of lust. I know I probably don't, but I. I think it's 9. I don't know what it is. So it could be.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Nice, if it's your fault.

  Sune Sloth: I'm trying. I'm trying to find some kind of explanation where you have to carry yourself like that. I know it doesn't hold up.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Bloody annoyed.

  Sune Sloth: Then you're well aware of that. So I feel that you take responsibility for it in that way. But I also feel that it can overwhelm you in such a way that you don't really realise it because you're so overwhelmed that you don't really know what's happening inside you. And then. And then I see, you see some options where either you leave it alone or I come in and hold you and be with you as if it makes a difference. I come in. Yes, it does.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: It actually has that journey too. It's fun because you're one of them. I think many women can recognise that, as I also think the side effects of the bumpy evolutionary journey. So we carry the whole evolutionary journey in our body. So almost no matter what we were exposed to in our childhood, there's typically a mixed bag of how we were met, so there will be deeper wounds that we carry with us. I think the wound here runs deep in this woman, and it takes away her responsibility. But in relation to the fact that she needs so much to be seen and met without judgement when she is there. But she doubts whether it can be done, so she also entrenches herself. If he tries, that's not good enough either. Then there's this language. I know there is. I want to surrender to and be seen and met and embraced and accommodated at the same time as I don't dare shut you down. It's a strange couple full of paradoxes and contradictions and very contradictory, as I can see in the beginning when I met you. When I hit, they ended up in those places and you came in. I can see that. I haven't actually. I actually had. It was actually my first, and it's not true. My ex-husband could actually do it sometimes, but not that there was a difference.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: I think you were able to keep your consciousness focused on me in a different way, and I think that's the first time I've experienced it. Where my ex-husband could do that. As if he instinctively knew it would be fine just to be there. Not saying much, and then I couldn't handle it anymore. Then he left, which I actually understandably think he experienced that you could be there and be you. And the fact that you could take it in, as if your consciousness wasn't shaken by it. And that was experienced over time was hugely healing. It's like I get through it faster. So initially, I was a bit like a frozen wounded animal that was ready and expecting, and now criticism is coming and now something is being done wrong or. And it's not that I remember my parents doing me wrong in that way, but I think there are so many experiences in women about being called hysterical and strange, and then the fact that you didn't do it. So sometimes you also had that thing where, if there was no movement for a long time earlier, I could sometimes go into such death-like states with colleagues for a long time, and it was as if, and I could interpret that as if you couldn't take it anymore, and I've talked to you about that subsequently.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: It wasn't something you had, you just felt that there was no need for such a choice here. A choice in that you have to step out of it yourself, where you moved and I could see that there was. Then I kept raging. But the good thing was that the rage gave me the strength to move on, so that's how it was. As if there was a need for you to dare. You needed the courage to say, ‘Listen, I can't save you here, so there's something there. If a man has to help a woman here. Of course he can't help her if she doesn't want to be helped. If she doesn't want to or dare to take responsibility for it, start taking responsibility for it because she has to do it over time. She doesn't, but she can fix it all at once, so he needs to keep an eye on whether she starts to have the courage to take responsibility. Whether she's just starting to open up a little bit. I can see the first thing I'm saying. I can see there's a pattern in me here that I need to look at or I can see it's a movement towards taking responsibility.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: There's something about if she wants to help her here and she also takes responsibility and thinks it's what if he can? If he can be there with his consciousness without either collapsing or getting scared and worried, save her or you know can't stand it because the patient ones don't have the courage to not get annoyed with her. Got his must get her out of this now he must come up with a plan and if he explains to her why it's like this, what she should do about it, he can just be with her without having to do anything with her, and then really just by setting his own boundaries in when now you've been there longer, so now I go out and do something else. But it's still saying ‘now I feel like doing something else’. It's not about making something out of the state you're in. I'm not going because I'm angry about it or because I want to change anything. But you know I need to go to the toilet or feel like going for a walk and doing something else. But that's fair enough, I could see that. That's what it was. It feels like I'm a bit past my prime, and as if the part of me that I've probably taken on is a family lineage and an epigenetic wound etc.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: So it's almost as if there was a wounded animal that had received some blows through evolution, who expected to be humiliated and tortured and everything else than the man who was part of a grief class that started slowly and was healed to white. I can let myself fall into that. I don't have to be all alone in it, which I've experienced early in my life, while not being done wrong. So that in itself was hugely healing, and it's then experienced later on as time has experienced many times with it. It's that now that I'm no longer allowed to, there's a phase in it that sometimes you definitely have to carry the blame for it, and then some time passes. And I can see that. Not his fault. And then there's the impulse to blame them. Then I can only laugh. Crying because I'm just furious and shit like that, it should be your fault and it's not. Then you go there and that's it. Now it's more when it's there so that you can see it on me pretty quickly.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: There's something up, and I'm just like I don't bother. There must be something off. You shouldn't be able to see it, because I don't want to let myself fall into it. Not nice to fall into. So I'll soon wall myself up a bit, without really saying anything other than just walking and walling myself up a bit. And then you just make me feel worse. And then eventually I see if there's something, and you don't want that, do you want to hold me? And I experience now where I'm better? I can just let myself fall into it. I've gotten over the thing where I can lie down and fight or withdraw into myself, in fear of being done wrong, because we've been through it so many times, so it's that, that grief healing of me has taken place. Now it's more. I can actually feel it, that I can just do it and you can just hold on and I'll hold on. I'm not going down with it. Now you really just are, you have your resting consciousness enveloping me. It's as if it's easier for me to reach the insight that lies in the state, because the state is just a confusing messy thing. But there's always one. We always have it there, and sometimes it's an insight that you can relate to.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Finding insight in relation to how you should live your life as a soul and as people. It may not always be the insight you want to come up with, but nevertheless, when I get hold of insights, I feel as if your consciousness helps me put this together. It's like falling down and being so overwhelmed by it that the consciousness goes away. It's enormously difficult to gather your consciousness as a woman and thus I feel as if I can almost promise your consciousness a little, so I can get this up and unfolding faster. What is it? What is the insight in this place? Because as uncomfortable as these places are, they are just as deadly confusing and overwhelming. Then there's also something that feels new in them. When you dare to go through it, something new is born out of the discomfort. It's very, very, very beautiful. And I know it. Now I know it's beautiful when I start and I can feel it coming up, but it's never nice. Never going to be very nice, and that's what my death process feels like. So I would say that there seems to be something very beautiful in it. What the man can offer here as a gift for her.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Not because he has to, not because it's a requirement, and not because it's his fault. But what he can give her as a gift of love is actually that he makes his unaffected consciousness available, which she can actually borrow at a time when she is so overwhelmed that it is extremely difficult for her to keep her consciousness herself and get any kind of curve or conclusions and wisdom out of that powerful thing. There's a lot, a lot of energy in it, but it's also an abundance of space and that order is chaotic and overwhelming. And it's actually very beautiful, and the more he can just listen to her, because it doesn't say he understands it that lands in a mess. But the more he can just listen to it resonate with her, then it can actually really bring them together. Make their relationship deeper. There's a lot of beauty in witnessing each other's journey there, whether you understand it or not, because you're not each other. So you don't have to understand it either. Then it becomes very magical in that way. So yes, there is a huge gift he can give her there, but of course only if she takes responsibility. What is it like for a man to be faced with a woman who is trapped in the immaturity of emotional immaturity?

  Sune Sloth: Well, it depends on whether she's willing to take responsibility for it. So we can go completely from someone who cultivates it.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: And it must.

  Sune Sloth: You see your last injury before, where man cultivates and woman cultivates to put it on the man all the time and find, only formulate and invent things where he has to take care of. That she feels bad as a way that an empathetic man can take care of a woman and realises it much later and almost on the way out. So she uses him.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: To regulate.

  Sune Sloth: How much responsibility you've taken as a man in terms of trying to be there for a man who always sees himself as if it's something external that's causing him to feel bad and at the same time support all these projects that are invented or things she needs or wants. If you could get a designer piece of furniture, or if you're going travelling or have something nice or just hang out with a friend or something, so you're constantly creating whatever it is that's bothering her. So you can do that too. You can come across as a man and be so servicing and accommodating, so if you get close to someone you approach it with an angle that it's always something external. She is in a way a victim of the outside world, so because you feel sorry for her in some way or another. Then you can get caught in a deep, deep web here, so it's an opportunity that is an opportunity. It's not someone who does it that way, but someone who is willing to label themselves, but is also not willing to. To do something about it. And who uses different methods to get out of it, but who doesn't blame them, but then gets angry at you in other situations. The irrational You can't have any connection with it, like you have to get too close. So I've experienced that too. What do you call it? But what makes the difference here is actually experiencing a human being as. basically like to know. Even if there is resistance and confusion.

  Sune Sloth: Closing and shutting down, which is curious after all to find out what is hiding in the depths, and which allows me to look down into it? Look into it. And, yes, you can't. You can't demand that she accepts that you're there for her. You don't want to make demands that she has to take responsibility. You can choose whether you make your conscious presence present. And feel her. Feel that there is a choice to dare to feel what comes up. Does she allow herself to be with it? Then it is a gift. Then it can be a very beautiful gift, because it can be very beautiful to see a woman in it somewhere. Even in her pain. And it's going to sound like it's something I could just do. But it's not. We've talked a lot about her closure and all the work that may lie ahead for him, so things didn't come out of nowhere. But that's where mine did. Where I've explored my closure and in other situations it gives, then the gift is opened up there. So say that. Yes, it would be a result that I could stand without and without getting caught up in all the judgements that were there before, and some of them are about. A lot of it is about wanting something with her. You know. A prejudice about women that you're annoyed by their changeability or. By horniness taking over, hoping for something or all sorts of nonsense. There can be many variants of that.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, it can also affect him if she gets weird, because when you're overwhelmed, you get weird. You can say something, and if he asks what's wrong and you don't answer, it costs the person. On the way away, she doesn't want me to be so dependent on what he was looking at, what his fear track is unconsciously focusing on, then it can quickly draw it back into him.

  Sune Sloth: Yes if if if if if he. If you approach her and she doesn't want your company, then you also have to be able to stand not being snot offended. And now I come here and am available and snooping. Yes, her it's her process or hers. What unfolds, or what she doesn't want to unfold, is 100 per cent up to her. Whether she wants to go into it.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, I've sometimes experienced that. Now you've experienced that I've had to stand in it myself. Especially in the past, when I hadn't had the experience. I didn't have enough experience of being met. That there was actually someone who could meet me with love when I was there. So I could see that when I could feel that I was about to end up somewhere where I would be pulled down again, so I don't know where it would land. He was always coming, always coming, always coming, always coming, always coming, always coming. Soon he always knows his reluctance to let himself be pulled into the darkness and let himself fall. So it was just time to say that to the women listening in. Yes, yes, yes, it may sound like I can do it now, and I do it to a greater extent than I did. But, but, but, but, but shut up, I have often failed to surrender. Easy men kicking and screaming. I think it's been difficult to fall into that wordless swamp. It hasn't suited me at all, and I think I've only ever tried. So I always have a control plan to avoid going down there, so I've had my own ways. It hasn't been so much about buying. It hasn't been about getting a lot of children or a dog or a lot of furniture down.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: I'm very minimalistic. I don't care too much about things. It doesn't matter to me. Clothes a lot for me, shoes and not a lot of sweets now. This part of my life. But then it was more like I had some kind of control plan with some education or a book I had to write. Or I got some things right. I had some other ways of shifting, so I had to get down and correct that I had to. I had to lie down where I die of deep depression, where my body just refused to get up. So then the thing about saying that it wasn't voluntary. I surrendered, and that's something you rarely do, I think. But I would say that the first time I had been had fallen. Survived and came out the other side, it's gotten easier. It's like it goes faster and I can welcome it more. But I met you, and in the early days, when I could feel I was going down, I actually couldn't have you around. It was very uncomfortable and I don't think it was necessarily because I was afraid you would judge me or criticise me and walk all over me. I think because that's what you've never done when I'm there. I don't have that experience with you there. I think it was more about the fact that it was so insanely vulnerable and being witnessed there, as if you're naked as an arrow, well, you're naked as a boil, and it's not something you're particularly proud of either.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: You don't feel like such a capable woman there. You're completely, completely falling apart. So that's more to say to women out there. Depending on where you are on your journey here in relation to taking this place on you and I just say there's no one out there in the future, we may not get there, it's very possible that our great-grandchildren, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and they may not need it. But I don't see any of us women missing out here, we will, we will. We kind of have to surrender to this, because that's it. It's a remnant of evolution. And as I said, there's also something beautiful in it. When you're on that journey, just know that there's light at the end of the tunnel, but that light is the potential light that it gets easier and you know that you see the beauty in it that you actually get to integrate parts of yourself unconscious parts of yourself in the process. That you can use these situations. Not because you consciously want to do it, but that the situations can contribute to a greater depth between you and your partner. So it's actually possible to go deeper together here if he wants to offer his gift and you are able to accept it.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Then it's just crucial that you know that the light and the potential and the gifts can only be realised if you take responsibility, and you have to be. Loving, critical, self-examining here, because this is the place if in this. This is the place where we women lie the most to ourselves and to each other. We're really bad at pinpointing this place for each other too. We'll get there. We can quickly get together in women's groups and support each other in shifting whether it would help a lot to just go on a retreat in Bali or get the hell out. There's nothing wrong with going to Bali, but it's more that we can come to believe that it's also terrible here at home. Or relationships, family life, everything. So I need to go out and get some self-help, and I need to go travelling, or I need to get some boots. I need something else, so we can support each other, as if there's meaning in it when we escape. Instead of us actually looking at each other and saying that you're sure there's nothing you're running away from here. Don't you think that going out there and trying to chase happiness out there just makes things worse? We can be really bad at being honest with each other. Really bad at being honest with ourselves and each other when it comes to this.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: This blind spot in our emotional journeys is our time travelling. So if you want to become a powerful mature woman, you have to go through purgatory here. If you woo on this bypass and that one, there's a huge part of your power and your courage. Wisdom that you are simply bypassing. So I would only encourage you to take it on. And I don't think we recognise myself included. But I think I'm done that needs to be deleted in that is if it's pure. You have to be careful about saying you're done with anything. I've learnt that the hard way. We have no idea, and I have no idea what's there. I don't know what depths or deepest places to go in the future. I just know. I can't do anything but surrender to it and see what happens. But what we can do here in this honesty by waking up and daring to be more transparent and honest with each other. The fact that we can mirror these places to each other, even women who come from a place of compassion. But we, who have to put all this suffering and innate feeling, if we have to lift it up to compassion, because we can be such compassionate beings with what it means to feel with someone. It's also I feel with you.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: I can feel that that retreat or that business bootcamp would be the right thing for you to spend 70,000 on even though you don't have a cent. You know I can do it, but I can feel that you need it and now we can support each other. A real thing called the arse, which will just make your life more hassle and will move you even further away from looking at that. The real problem. And it's not that we have to sit and be judges of each other in terms of what each of us should do and what our problems are. But we have a blind spot here. We have a blind spot in relation to the fact that we actually don't dare and approach each other with honesty here, because we can't. We can't bear the feelings that arise, neither in the person we say no to, but not in ourselves either. Because they make us. We love dirt at our own peril and the perpetrators'. So if we also like to buy some bags, and if we also like to have the same pressure to run from responsibility in our own lives, then we're going to talk her into it, because then we're completely free from taking responsibility. So we just need to be aware of this. It's also hugely important in relation to mature friendships and women creating and sharing common communities.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: There is a unique potential for healing women in groups. Who unite their fields, can create the most beautiful and can heal fucking universes. But we can also just sit and drink cocoa and do ceremonies and tell each other that we don't take responsibility for shit. There's nothing wrong with sex can have ceremonies or other ceremonial rituals. It can be extremely powerful, but we can also sometimes use women's communities to just sit and chat, and now we feel like we're just together. But we don't fucking move. We don't take. We don't address the root of the problem. We can. We women. We can really give our power to each other and hold each other down. Yes, actually saying it's a bigger problem if we talk a lot about the problem with men and their problems with men. But there's also a blind spot in terms of how we women hold each other down, and it's invisible and subtle. And women both love and seek female communities and are terrified of them at the same time. Because it has its own hierarchy and has its own, has its own darkness, so it needs that too. Transparency, honesty and openness. And that's where we can really mature, so that we can really find out what it is that we women can do together? There are many more frequencies and octaves to be explored there than we have reached so far.

  Sune Sloth: So the way we talk about it now? Let's try to explore other ways to. One way might be to work with it and allow yourself to catch yourself. Shift it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've actually worked on that yourself, and you got really, really far that way. Yes, so you can do that. Yes, it's hard.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: But you can do it. It requires an insane amount of discipline.

  Sune Sloth: And what is that? I mean, how can you do it?

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Say what I did when I saw this? And of course, of course I realise it in different ways. So towards the early boyfriends, where I couldn't necessarily see it. At that point I can then see retrospectively where I am, and I've done that after all my relationships, and of course it's become more and more acute after a relationship has ended, where I go back when I do reviews. Question. How annoying was my behaviour? I mean, how hollow was it? How often was I? And that's obviously over the years. Have I. Have I become more brave in terms of looking into some things than I was at the time? But I almost get the mad run over or get inspired to pay attention to it. Like I start to see myself there. A part of my consciousness that can see myself from the outside when I'm doing the shift or when I'm doing the process. Or shortly after I've done a test, I'll sit and look at an ex-boyfriend. I had given him a hard time about something, and it's not his fault at all. I just have some tension with him, and then I feel really guilty when I have doubts. How it started actually started with the fact that after conflicts with my ex-partner, I had a lot of doubts. It was almost like I was going crazy. Who is to blame for what? Or maybe not guilty, but who has contributed to what? Here it's him? I know I said it was him, but who was it really him who was the fan and me? What do I know myself? Blame something into this dynamic? So I spent a long time trying to make sense of it all, reflecting on it, summarising it and pulling at a ball of yarn that was just totally knotted together.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: And it gave me some of the pattern. And it kind of made me dare to relate to it, to dare to ask the question Can I be so confident here? I know I gave him a huge slap, and he took it because I was psychologically superior to verbally superior. So eventually he snapped and took it on himself. Why is it that I don't feel? Why is it that I don't think it was very nice to end up there because it feels uncomfortable? So I structured myself to ask questions, and it was as if it gave me a bit of courage to almost get more insight into my own pattern. Then the next step was to notice what is it for someone? When is it? What are the situations or conditions that make me want to slaughter the other partner or make him take on something that is my own? So I started to map it out and then I was kind of there something I saw. Ok, I'm simply so attached to relating, like when I do what I know, feel a lot of things I can talk about and feelings I can, I close myself off like an oyster and soon it's just the smallest level.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Found out I was extremely fragile in relation to anything that could be interpreted as criticism. Delete I know I was. Thin, thin porcelain that just cracked, and it wasn't very cool to look at. And I thought I was very cool, had a very good handle on it, and then I was just completely hopeless. So there was also something about something like that, I was like I've chewed my way through. I was just too tired with all this and the grief about it. And that's also from my childhood, so it was more like that. Then came the fear that if I can't do anything about it, what if I'm so broken? What if I'm just so screwed up that there's just a tiny little note that it might taste a tiny little bit of criticism about who I am, then I'll come off as some kind of weirdo, but if it doesn't go away, if I have to live like this for the rest of my life, then I'm unbearable to be with, and I can't stand being with anyone. I know that I got through all those layers that came, and then I was a bit of a mess and I bit the bullet and started therapy. And then I threw myself into all kinds of therapy, and then I miscarried.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Then I snapped my neck and was completely devastated. And that was a good thing. Looking back, there were a huge number of small steps. I increased my capacity to stand, and keeping those conditions off was deeply uncomfortable to watch. Insanely uncomfortable to the eye. On me, I was such a wimp and rational wimp. I couldn't do anything. I studied psychology, and then I was just completely hopeless. It was really annoying. But there was also when I got down to my own self-loathing, and then there was an enormous amount of grief, and there was an enormous amount of pain and sorrow and simply being with all the layers. And it was as if it gave me. It started at a time when I was so tired of my own whining story, where I just can't be so fucking fragile anymore. So like I built a bit more humour. I didn't even. I wasn't laughing at myself, but laughing with myself. It helped a lot, and I could see that we were in the same boat and would be reading up on an insane amount. So I read up on both the study programme, but also afterwards. So everything I could find that was relevant about human behavioural impact, how we relate, how the nervous system works and what about trauma etc. Read up on the whole package. I could see epigenetics. How have children been met throughout history and by philosophy and Eastern philosophy and the whole package. Greater and greater understanding of. Okay, we're a young species and I see myself from the outside as part of a race if you like, which is also just a bowl and a bit round or teenagers so know.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: I got a slightly more loving, humorous, gentle look at myself, at the same time as I could see that in these relationships I was struggling, but I stood up again and started to become sharper on what was mine and what wasn't mine. So I geeked out big time, and it was probably myself plus the discipline also coming in, because then there's a huge amount of thoughts, and especially when I became a mum, my poor ex-husband was sweating. There's so much anger in a woman when she becomes a mum. There's so much because there's so much power in her, but it comes out as anger, and it's typically directed at him because you don't want to direct it at your child. You get so angry at him. Poor men. And I kind of was. It was such a new era. I had never experienced myself as very angry. That wasn't my pattern. It wasn't getting angry that I shut down like an oyster. And just like, holy shit, what am I going to do with this. Then there was a new juice. A new layer that was pulled by that motherhood. The press. Fuck yes, what do I do now? And then I had to stop every time I went into a rage and vacuumed and made the child not want to sleep and stuff like that.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: That I would go and smear my ex-husband, my partner at the time, in my mind, because I had to get rid of this anger, so I had to stop every time it happened. Stop! Hey, no, if I'm like that, then go in and stop myself, wasn't it, because he didn't want it, or when I came home, and if he was playing with our son and I he didn't clean up. I was about to smack him. I had to grit my teeth and I bit my tongue and kind of no fucking way about whether I should let this take it out on him. He's had a good time. It's not a problem, so because you're edgy, he shouldn't have it, so I have to stop some of this. Standing with that tension and then figuring out what the hell is it about? And then over time, something eased and then I realised I could actually regulate it. And that's really what I was trying to teach women in my business when I started self-employment. And basically this. So when you get so overwhelmed about it, it's depression you need to get up to. Preferably to power rage, but then you have to dare to stand up and you're going to burn someone, and then you have to take responsibility for it basically and stand and regulate it here. So that's what I spent on that.

  Sune Sloth: You're talking about when you were human emotions.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, yes, first harmonious kids, but it was primarily attachment to smaller children. And then exercise was basically the whole regulated regulation cycle that you had to help your children with. If you could help them through the regulation cycle, you had to get your own under control, because then you were pushing too hard. So there isn't the discipline, so it actually requires you to use yours. Whether you've had a meditative practice or you've done yoga and pilates. You have, if you're used to witnessing your body and your thoughts and your feelings and you actually use that to say others will be pressurised and I start thinking critical thoughts. I start straightening it out and I start wanting to shape my thoughts and my feelings and to make a story about somebody to carry this. And sometimes there's someone you're mad at, so you have to do something about it. But sometimes it's just a tension in the system that builds up and starts to be directed somewhere. And that's where you should actually stop. It should be holding that tension itself. Here you're actually increasing the capacity of your own field to hold tension and hold intensity, which also allows you to have much fatter orgasms. So it's definitely pay off, I would just say. But but but but you actually have to. You have to say Well that's more. The problem is if you don't have access to your power and you can't actually feel anger, then it's also very hard to feel orgasms. Or because intense orgasms. It's all about intensity.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: How much intensity can your system handle? So typically, if women don't have. I never feel, dare I say never feel anger or I shut down anger very quickly will also typically be not always. But there may be correlations with the fact that it can be difficult to feel the desire for sex, and it can also be difficult to surrender and give in to ecstasy. And it's not about the woman not being able to do it. It's basically whether we need to get the power hooked up. You actually have to make friends with the anger or the roller. Feel the power of the brand. You are able to slaughter another human being. You have a kite, an engine that can spew fire and unwind the mass you don't. You have to take it upon yourself that you contain so much power, as if that fire is blowing through the mass of obstructions in your nervous system and in your energy field. And that means that if you dare to go down and have a dragon in the fire and be with it, you can also go high, so the two things are connected. Often we try to become an intermediate life at the stage of stress, where we don't really feel much because we dare not visit anger. When we have to be nicer, we get hurt a lot there because we were constantly shut down as hysterical. But when you start to break free of that and let the anger in, then you can, then much more comes. The erotic becomes much, much, much more exciting, so it doesn't matter how small the carrot is. In the big hard work.

  Sune Sloth: It's an easy ending to the Line Effect podcast episode 29. Stay, put and listen to the whole two.

  Translated transcript of the original Danish podcast

  Hosts: Mette Miriam Sloth & Sune Sloth

  Sune Sloth: Welcome to. Part 2 Episode 29 of the Magdalene Effect podcast. We ended the last episode around dragon fire.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: And.

  Sune Sloth: Multi.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Orgasms with banging, but.

  Sune Sloth: Thought it was a good time to make a transition because.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Well, it is.

  Sune Sloth: Because when I met you, you've actually worked so much with it. So it might sound to the listeners as if you need a man to work with this.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: I've worked with it myself.

  Sune Sloth: Yes, exactly. And I don't want to take credit for the work you do with it yourself. Not even when we're together. Because you're the one doing it. You're the one who's in it. You who allow it, work to let it move. But I can assist you. I can go in and throw focus, but it's you who chooses to move it. You are the one who chooses to transform it and work with it energetically etc. So you have 100% responsibility and honour for that. So it's to delight, nerve and experience you being in a place where you have worked so much with it when we meet. That I don't feel that you are unfairly picking on me. There may be places where there are some wounds that are relational or things in women or in the way that. And I can perhaps say that you're going to let it out, because if you're going to allow yourself to dive even deeper, then it must also be possible. Then there must also be room for you to get into extreme positions, into the extremes and fall and hurt yourself or bang a plate or something, without it having an impact. Now we're going to sit down and talk about the fact that you also have a problem or it's also difficult. Or I wonder what's wrong with you or what we need to solve. And that has been a decisive factor. That you always choose to come back.

  Sune Sloth: That you always choose to take it on, even if it was unconscious in the situation. And that's where you can say that you can you can, as they say. But trust can build up over time, and that trust can be broken when you've met women who don't want to take responsibility at all. And you may have reservations about how much you really want. A parenthesis where you have to take responsibility for something that you don't really want. And you can become hugely doubtful that you know, am I good enough, and if it hits that, then there's something to work with, but also. That you give your power away to someone who will actually abuse it, to become a little girl who just really wants to cuddle out of it and shoot when I'm watching a love film and eating ice cream. And you know, that gets weird, but you'll find that it works. The same thing will come up again and she knows where to do it and go. So you find the progression is lacking in relation to that. Not because she's going anywhere, but the same thing. Exactly the same thing happens in the same way. Because she doesn't work with it herself or seek help or find herself, there is something about finding ways to approach it that is creative and keeps trying to attack. It was with different paths in it.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: So yes, yes, you could say that. You can kind of see it. What can actually break down trust in a couple's relationship. We talked a lot about how his not taking responsibility for his airing, and that can also be a big part of it, where she can distrust the men, so it goes both ways. But in this scenario, where it's the woman's sensitive immaturity that can break it down, it's exactly that over time. If she gets to a place where she becomes maybe vile, maybe uncomfortable, maybe goes off on him. Maybe you know gets weird and strange, and then all of a sudden it's good again, because at some point it will recede again. It does because it's shifted in a woman, but there's no reflection on it. She doesn't have any. She doesn't come back and tell you she's sorry. I can see that was mine, that. I unloaded it on you. It hurts me that I did it. I didn't realise when I did it, so it wasn't conscious, but I'm sorry. I'll take care of it, and I can't promise it won't happen again. But I'll do what I can to work on it. If it's not you, and she just goes on and on, becomes like a fury and then an hour later, she's like a cuddly cat.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: To begin with, he will, and I was happy that this girl was back again just now. But over time, he'll have been dealt an incredible number of blows, and then he'll leave who and when. When do you tickle something wrongfully my way again? And that would actually make him withdraw and close himself off and close himself off and or, depending on his grief, he will be very much over her all the time trying to service her and be at the forefront of getting there. And then it will actually break him down because he thinks he's actually taking it in all the time as if it's his fault. He's the one doing it. So therefore, when it's such a paradoxical place, because he can't stand there and say that he wants her to mature. But conversely, if he's with a woman who refuses to mature, he may actually have to break off the relationship at some point, because it becomes too difficult to be in, because it's extremely difficult to be with a person who stubbornly maintains her own immaturity and her own destructive behaviour. It's extremely difficult, and that goes for both parties. So the way that he can, if he needs to, perhaps have a loving eye on it, it's more like this, because we can do it.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: We can easily cope. And it's also good that we can handle our partner stepping wrong or smoking unconsciously, because we all do that. We're not perfect, even though we should always be able to stand in a loving, powerful place. We can't. We're working our way towards that, as future generations may have far away, dogs, etc. So there can be such love for that to happen, but trust can be built up as if you can accommodate and can handle it. It's devastating for the relationship to end up there. Even when we've been violent for a few years, you have a violent argument and just smashed plates or something. Not that I'm saying that you necessarily have to feel pain. But sometimes you can run the risk of ending up with something. There are some wounds that have popped up, that just ride in like a mare, and you end up screaming at the top of your lungs or something. So you end up in situations in ways that you don't think are very cool at all. But even that you can come back from and be completely safe again and feel completely connected. If we can see that couples like that, that the partner takes responsibility in that way.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: It could be, for example, that you come back when she has just landed and share the insights or just come and say that this is definitely recommended to you women out there if you take this on. I would recommend that you do that if you choose to do that and it may well be that when you have landed that you have a little guilt and shame or a little over God, and if I share my insights with me now. It may be that you've realised that you've let go of a huge wound in the family line that has popped up that you're hugely like hugely vulnerable, hugely vulnerable And that is, you can stand on the other side of one of these holes and have a very, very deep heartfelt compassion. Deep compassion for yourself. Which is a very beautiful place, and then if you share that with your partner and he doesn't understand it or dismiss it, it can hurt. So that's why some women won't do it. They choose not to share him here because they share the journey. Share the insights of their journey with him. But it's actually a gift you can give him. And no, there is never a guarantee that we will be met as we hope when we are vulnerable. But what can be beautiful to share here is actually also that it can rebuild trust because he starts to trust that he may have just seen you engage in abusive behaviour.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Behaving like a three-year-old or being violently angry or at hugely aggressive. Did something happen today? And he's just like Wow, I don't want to be exposed to that again. I don't understand it and it scares me to death or whatever it does to me. And then maybe go to see that you've actually found an explanation for it. Not only that. But take the man out of the country in the relationship that you understand why it happened. You've landed this aspect and you come with a completely different radiance and a completely different depth. A completely different wisdom and part of him an insight into the work you have taken on. So it can actually increase both his respect and his style. It can also turn him on enormously. His, his, his, his, his heart, his passion for you, because maturity is fucking sexy. It is, it's the new thing, it's the new black. And it just is, so of course you don't do it with that in mind. But it's just built in as a gift to each other, which is also why we shouldn't be so afraid that we sometimes end up in places with each other that are violent. We just have to. But we have to take responsibility for it.

  Sune Sloth: It's really important that you as a man, if you think I'm not trying to understand her based on the fact that you are. You are a polarised choice. You are a body that is polarised on purpose, where the same species is divided into two that are so different that you don't start to have or start to make sense here, because then you completely destroy it. But actually have deep respect for her journey. It faces and it's a different one. It's a different journey. It's a different path where you don't have to understand it, but enjoy her opening up and maybe see her standing in her powerfulness. And it's beautiful and attractive too. It's fascinating. And if you then lie here or start arguing with her about it. That was the insight, then you have something to work with, because then there's a little boy who feels inferior and can't handle a powerful woman. Then you have. Then you have some maturing to do in terms of being able to stand in and be with her when she unfolds and she is a mystery. If you try to shut that down, right? You can have questions. You can have openness, but if you do. If you're trying to draw conclusions about her. You're trying to trap her in here. Then you completely shut down the process and completely shut down because she has to be allowed to have her wisdom. And it's her deep, feminine wisdom that comes up here. Her life wisdom. So there's something about not being able to stand in it then? Then there is also an opportunity to work on it. Basically, it's just enormously sexy. And witnessing that process. It's very beautiful.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, there is one. It also really shows.

  Sune Sloth: Maybe there's something to be said here in relation to the misconception that the man opens up the woman. It was talked about. Unfortunately, it's us who are in the data. It's also strayed there. Yes, it's past tense. It's erroneous. So we do have that. From our experience, that's not actually how it works. The way it works is that she gets the power in, and then she can open him up. Then he hits down, he can, then he can be opened. But if she opens up before him too much before him, he collapses and can't contain it. So she is she is limited in her opening by how much you are willing to go with. Afterwards. And she has to be there. We're a bit back some of the old ones, but it's actually something about her having to find you worthy here. Then you are able to stand and witness her opening and witness her wisdom, the power of knowledge and her free will. What she will then do about what has to do with you, that it comes up that she's like that and. Does she know that, or does she know something else, or what will she come up with now? You have to be able to deal with that. That you don't know what. Every time she makes that transformation, you don't know what's going to happen and if you'll be a part of her life afterwards. And time is less dramatic on that account. But. Yeah, that was really just a tip here. In relation to that, she actually has the opportunity to be in a whole new place and she can see you for your locks and she can illuminate the love and maybe skills that come up. Now it's your turn to allow yourself to be seen in your own lockdowns. Ps.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: You are a beauty to behold. Yes, you can. You can make the most delicious grasp upwards, or you can pull each other downwards. These are the two choices in a relationship or in a relational relationship. And would you believe that you can stagnate? Actually, you can't. You might think we're just standing here treading water, but there will be. There's going to be friction, you're going to get annoyed, and there's going to be something, so we're not supposed to stand still. That life is not still, and she has to.

  Sune Sloth: Probably make sure it doesn't stand still.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: But then there are projects and children, and she.

  Sune Sloth: I'm also thinking that it will be highlighted. So we've highlighted how you can work with it even to a certain point. We have highlighted the possibilities that exist in a deep love relationship with intimacy, because sexuality. A deep attraction can arise as a result of the process. Once it has landed.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: It's enormously transformative, so it's actually as if it helps.

  Sune Sloth: Yes, when you get together an hour later, it's as if a deeper connection emerges. A new way of being together in our differences was created, where we are not the same. Where there's more room for movement and power and fluidity, expansion, contraction, whatever. And if you can go through the process as a man, then you can witness it without locking out and judging without getting off track. And unconditional love is hard for a man to understand. But I have understood it as I experience it as the absence of judging what I see. The absence of winning something with this project with it. Divide it into that and that I could actually see it with so much awareness, so that without it hitting me I start to divide myself into what you know. Is it good or bad, or should we be together or not be together?

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Or am I on her hands?

  Sune Sloth: I'm not turned on by her. I think about her. So it can be anything, so it's actually a dissolution of dualism, but inside the man himself, which is the possibility in it. Not in the sense that you are not possible as a man and go beyond the poles, but that you can accommodate. So it's possible to do that in a deep, deep relationship, and it can become deeper from that, so it's a path. I talked about the dark side of women here. Where you probably also sit and slander the men and find them annoying, and it's so legitimate to sit and be annoyed. He spent too long in the toilet on the phone, and it was two girls, and there may well be some truth in that. Men can be wimps who run away from the bill all the time. That's one possibility, but there's also the possibility that it's something incomprehensible, something frustrated, something lonely, sad, something inside her. Something that has not been taken responsibility for. It could be that she has placed herself with a she, not where it's not good for her, but it could also just be her own material at work. So the question is whether you can have an upside to the feminine community here, and we have tried to do that with our workshops. Yes, because it's not something you've experienced a friend relationship. Is there anyone who could do this? But I have.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Experienced. I've experienced that if a maximum of two women are together, that's where I've experienced having come the furthest, and I can have a project with them, that's where I've experienced being most open. Least judgemental Men's slander. Men's most exclusionary, most creative. It's when you get the finger pointed at you that it's hard. But there are several fields where anything can mess you up. I can also experience it, but it's there, so it can actually be women who consciously choose to say We're not going to have a community where we sit and talk about others. That doesn't mean you can't talk about being critical of something, but that's just not it. There's a difference between talking about something. You can talk about a situation, there might actually be someone at our workshop or another conversation. I had at home with my family and this with my friend or the way you work with it, you look at every dynamic in this. It's not about looking at a person, assessing the person you're looking at, looking at the dynamics and saying What the hell happened? And what is your responsibility in that? Or should you set some boundaries? So the thing about being able to recognise the difference.

  Sune Sloth: It's something you're good at. It's something with.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Intention in.

  Sune Sloth: There's something about intention and something about saying I'm trying to find my own responsibility in it, and if there is someone, if it's something that has been committed against what can I allow myself to do something about it? Do I have to live with it?

  Mette Miriam Sloth: What relationships should I have? How should I understand it? Where should it be placed? Yes, exactly like that.

  Sune Sloth: So during the breaks when we do our workshop, you actually wanted to try to do something where women could do it in a different way together. So how does that play out? How does that play out? It actually is.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Using the energy field so that we actually support each other. So that means in the first exercise, where we actually go down, whatever the theme is about the intimate relationship or powerfulness or whatever it is. But the thing about going into what, what each woman, what is her intention? And that means what? What are the painful places in her intimate relationships that she can take responsibility for? And then we go in and work with that and what is she longing for? And then she realises where she stands. The discrepancy between where she is and what she longs for, then a pain arises, and then we can work with it. So we work insanely hard, almost only with self-responsibility, but with deep compassion for how difficult it is. How difficult these dynamics are. We get pulled down and feel hit and feel hurt and confused, and all kinds of things can happen. But it's actually the fact that we dare to be with the intensity of these states and then harmonise them either. We may need to find some insights, we need to understand a situation more deeply, we need to understand our own behaviour more deeply. We need to understand others' behaviour towards us more deeply, or we need to gather fragments into a whole, or we need to. There is some old rubbish from the past in the bloodlines that needs to be released. Many different things can come up and up and up. We have that theme now too. We typically sell out and there are 10 seats, so there are 10 different types of women, each with their own version of what to work on.

  Sune Sloth: We have 7 booked here for a month until next time. You actually chose to invite me into it. Why did you do that?

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes. Is it because there's something about having a masculine and feminine pole for the way I work best? It's actually when I go in and am in the energy to say that I don't go in and feel the group field. I go up as high as I can so I can see the energy and get it down and it has to do what it has to do, so I kind of disappear in or become a memory if you like. And the more I can do that, I also need to be sure that someone has the group. Then there's someone to support them. So you're actually holding the group field and directing the energy and having a team like time and so on. And that can do something. And my feeling is that it makes for a more balanced field, that we are both poles. And I can easily see the masculine pole on me. I've been doing this for years in my therapeutic practice and giving lectures, and everything can be seen, but I can't do both. I can't both surrender to being the energy and also recognise that I'm keeping time. And I will. I'm going to have to parry the energy a little bit. We would have to split it up again. So the fact that we can support each other, you see energy in a different way than I do. So it's the way we work with energy that supports each other really well. Also because you can. Depending on what we get in, we can see if, you know, if someone comes up with something or reports something, we kind of have. Two views in relation to something like backwards. It's best for us that they can feel most comfortable and get the most out of them.

  Sune Sloth: Yes, they work with all the jobs there.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Everyone works with.

  Sune Sloth: Us.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Doing something we create together. We do it.

  Sune Sloth: We go in and work actively with some things we can see in the field. I do that too. I go in and see the things, have vibration and so on. Go through the individual with me for each round. That's to make sure everything else. But that's the thing. We both work in the group field. I also go individually sometimes in the process and work and loosen up and look and see if I can harmonise some of the things I see, or I experience that it is one. It depends on whether we're working with intimate relationship or powerfulness. Is it really a practice that is an extension of what we have done together? Without it having the dimension that it has anything to do with an intimate relationship at all.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Is it our own.

  Sune Sloth: It has nothing to do with it as such. I rode a lot. It was very beautiful to experience. Now we've done it five times together. You did a workshop on your own before that. Sloth. To be allowed to have the honour of witnessing women in that process. It's very beautiful and to be able to support and be present and witness it. And I think there is a deeper point in the fact that there is a masculine figure who takes part in the group field, to stand in it and witness it without judging anything, but just being with it. And has no project with the other to take care of. There is a framework in which it can unfold. Definitely a structure that we have of course agreed in advance and that the participants are told what time it is. Then we do it, and then we do it. So we actually start by going deep into the basement. The pain in the second round is where we go and work our way up. In the more ecstatic, where the woman herself finds access to it, and it can also dust things up. So I'll typically go in and work with that as well. Then it comes up. But it's attacking it from two different angles, from the bottom up and then from the top and let the light come down. And lighting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that practice of being with what's coming up. It's like an opposite meditation, you could say, because the typical meditation, like two directions in one, you focus and the other, you let it come up that's going up, and then you let it kind of pass like clouds or whatever it is. But here we actually do that, that what comes up, you go down into it. You then allow yourself to be enveloped by it. And choose up.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Then we make sure you're not enough in it.

  Sune Sloth: Yes, we'll make sure you get to the break in one piece. That was one of the things that I found very fascinating in relation to it. For me to experience is that every woman has her own unique contribution to this journey of maturation or development that we are on as human beings. There is no one that is remotely similar. So we thought we'd start with a common theme on this or that, and then you could kind of class it beyond the group. They can easily recognise things in each other and so on. But they are working in different places and the magical thing is that there is so much blood in the man's system. Is it possible to work in a group with people who are in different places at the same time?

  Mette Miriam Sloth: We were a bit like that ourselves.

  Sune Sloth: You can't.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: And you could find that.

  Sune Sloth: How do you do that? Because they didn't get the man's system, it's illogical, but nevertheless it works. And then we actually find that I talk a lot about how much is needed for people to start landing more permanently? And then we start to see people coming back, veterans and so on, who become more settled. And that's what we do. Often, some people continue working with us individually, and we have a few different things. We offer what we can do and how, and sometimes we bring them in together because there's so much in our systems. But there's also a point to that, because we've had to work our way through a lot of things so that others can get the experience of what you can work your way through.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: The frequencies of it, so that the field can support others. And we have to recognise that, and that's why we're here. We've realised that. So it's all about finding out why you have what you need.

  Sune Sloth: Well, it's also for you. Maybe also to say that not everyone has as much crap in their system or things that can be transformed into beauty. Not that it's people, but it's not the purpose that you have to sit in a process for eternity. No, you want to get to a place where you can be in the world, but also be able to act in the world and maybe do whatever you want with it. It's individual, and not everyone has to do what we do. It's something like that. But then you have to be a clairvoyant or a healer or you have to because I and so everyone has gifts if there are different people, and they come up with some very different ways of what to do with what comes up.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Very different.

  Sune Sloth: And that. And then it's kind of the same practice I've actually had with you. Warranty ring. And then it's with reinforced group field and join in.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: It can.

  Sune Sloth: I saw it is.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: A little nervous laughter.

  Sune Sloth: It's always exciting and extremely beautiful to witness the feminine unfold in this way. Yes, so it's actually been quite an experience. We've had a feeling that we got a ‘You can do this, especially you got it into more. We try it by trusting that what you get in, and then it has unfolded into that I could see it. I haven't been sceptical. I just stayed that way. But now you're the oracle. Here we go, and you've been insistent.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Maybe. I'm right about that.

  Sune Sloth: Insistent that I had a role in it, and I'm not quite sure what my role should be. But okay, I can manage the time and serve coffee and then realised that I also have a very active role in it. So you also saw something in what I could contribute here, also energetically through work, but also by being able to see the people.

  Speaker3: So.

  Sune Sloth: You could say that the difference between us and them is that we don't come there to do our own process. It's not. They come there to allow their own process. We make ourselves available for them to do their process, and we hold the space and work with what comes up. So that's really the only difference between us and the participants. So it's a piece of work, but it's very delicious piece, beautiful piece of work and very meaningful to be allowed to do, and it requires a lot of concentration and a lot of effort on our part. That's why we typically go out and hide during the break, simply because we can't be bothered to talk at the same time when we get excited after a day. Don't feel sorry for all of us. It's been a great day. It's been a great day, but it's also just that if you're there, you're there.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: You know that we're just going to take a break and recharge. And it's not because I...

  Sune Sloth: So I said that we'll have chocolate biscuits and drink a lot of coffee and stuff or just sit and socialise and maybe talk a bit about whether the basic plan needs to be adjusted or maybe you'll get one, and we'll just make a little turn here.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Is it really, really set up. The workshops are important to work on some of the places where you are stuck. Then you can use the group field and ours, because we've chewed through so much. That's what we're here for.

  Sune Sloth: Are the veterans just. Now I can get to grips with what's really bothering them all the time. Then they just start throwing themselves into it.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, exactly. And it's over and over again. And that. You can also see that some come because they just like being in the field, because it's a very open field. They almost come to just chill out and sleep and lie down, and...

  Sune Sloth: There are a few who do that. Like most people, it's cool, but I'm not allowed to do that.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: You realise what you're skating when you're there. You can see that you have an intention of some kind of plan with it, but when you go into the energy, it's based on what's going up in the room.

  Sune Sloth: See, now we've kind of professionalised it. And one of the things I've been thinking about. I wonder if women can do it too? I think they can, but you have to figure out how it works. How can we be there for each other and support each other?

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, yes, I think so. And it's basically about having someone who facilitates, who has a pretty clean field. Then there has to be one.

  Sune Sloth: Share the work themselves, so they don't kind of lock up or start assessing. Or yes.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: All sorts of things can happen.

  Sune Sloth: Or stay.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Offended.

  Sune Sloth: Because there isn't.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Is a word. You have to be so seasoned that if a new frequency comes along that you haven't been up with yourself, the one who knows how to work on the field, as well as what you're working on yourself.

  Sune Sloth: And you have to know something.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: But it's really just that you've been in the game for a long time and have worked a lot with it.

  Sune Sloth: Yes.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Of course there's something about what kind of boss you have and in relation to what you can offer. That's also why.

  Sune Sloth: It depends on what the hell you're actually here to say, and that's what we enjoy and thrive on. I'd like to come back to the fact that when she's in this place, I've also experienced that there are many things that men have actually done to women that she throws at him. Can you elaborate on that?

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, and it's up there and right here. It's tricky ground for her, because it's actually this place she can get to and the sins of the past that are there. If we look at how men have treated women in the past. You can still find the next sentence and she will carry some of these wounds and she will carry some of them to try to heal them. The problem is that there. That's why I really want to do exercises with women to discern what's going on inside her. Because what does it taste like when an epigenetic wound is inside you? What does licking a wound taste like? What does it taste like, or yes, what does past life taste like? How and what does an immature spot in you that you want to produce next to taste like? They taste differently, but if you don't know, you can get to your immaturity and grab something sometime. Let's say there's some situation where you've met someone else and they've thoughtlessly said or done something that's a little bit out of line, which we can all do. And let's say you've talked about it. It's packed away, so you can pick it up. If you feel when you feel something. That you feel something has been transgressive in relation to what men have done to women, there may well be something that washes through you to clean out some of the past trauma that basically has nothing to do with him. If you then take a situation from the past where he got to be a bit clumsy, and so you don't take that whole deep, deep wound, like he has to carry that, then you break him. So it's actually huge. Not because ever so you know feel, and I know what it feels like, and I know what it feels like when you stand and you don't have genetics. It's not.

  Sune Sloth: Everyone who knows what it means.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: And not least basically that inherited trauma, inherited trauma from the past that is unresolved. So we carry a lot of grief that was not possible to release baggage.

  Sune Sloth: It's passed on through the genes of your ancestors, yes.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: One of genetic as English.

  Sune Sloth: Some of it is also their lineage to lineage. These are the things that have passed down to women. And a hell of a lot has been surpassed. So, as a man, you're going to be in that. And you should expect those things to come up, exactly where you have to work with it accordingly and then come up, because then you kind of like. It's not me or anything, but there may well be residue in your own system of violence and abuse and wanting to break her and put her in her place and be annoyed and angry and hit her and everything. All those things are actually possible. In that system, it's not safe.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: You want someone who will act on you, but they can be in a field that can be inherited.

  Sune Sloth: Surprised by that. What annoyed at her and desire for sex. If she's fucking someone else, I'll do something or hit her. Or all that can come up with a genetic. And I would say the hardest part has been the first part of the phase where things came up at the same time. Over time. Is it possible? Has it become possible that it doesn't overlap anymore, but we've taken the journey so that others can do it too, because then a path has been paved. It's easier for others to do it when we've done it. And when we had done a trick and found a way. Where we have actually been able to overcome that particular problem. To elaborate on what it is that we have done and are doing, we take.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Such a big topic, so we think we would.

  Sune Sloth: Leave it alone. But we've found something that we can't share yet.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: It will be another podcast.

  Sune Sloth: It will be another podcast. Rutgers is looking right here at the moment, so the question is, because there are also some hacks that you can work with. But when you double-check, because that's the hardest thing to do in WK, and it's an impossible requirement. And you can say that both must be able to hold it, or that it must always be able to hold it and it doesn't crash. If you can't, you can't. It doesn't work like that. And if you're travelling together and there's a huge asymmetry in maturity, it's not certain that the other person will like it either. So there's something about being a bit symmetrical in terms of maturity and in terms of what you want to do and how much responsibility you take. If it's very asymmetrical, it will go wrong.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: It's difficult.

  Sune Sloth: So there is also. There's also something about the maturity of the soul, if you like, and their own age. So if you realise that people can only mature at a certain pace, so even if they mature, and you mature and you use hatred, it will still be asymmetrical when you get further ahead. Even if the other person takes responsibility, there is a risk. If you come as an iPad and nothing else. Planetary Solo comes from the outside and the other is Earth-like, even with such a medium level of development, you can never expect yourself. But Earth-like Shield, which is very advanced enough, there will be a lot that can't be accommodated by what you come with and understood. We also see examples of that, that your funny nose, your way of seeing things from the outside down here, your particular problems that you can run into when your soul comes from the outside will never really be accommodated by the other. It can.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Be that there.

  Sune Sloth: Was very, very difficult.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Supported in a different way, as if there is a part of you that can be difficult to understand. If the soul is incarnated exclusively on earth and only has experiences from earth. So there are a lot of pieces, and it's not that they have to be specific recipes, you have to be exactly exact. And it's just to say that the more pieces that are illuminated, the more you can take the blame and blame your way out of it.

  Sune Sloth: But if you're very asymmetrical here, then it's worth considering that there may be an unsatisfied. Do you know how to try to take the journey with someone who is in a different place and also in terms of consciousness? Where it can just be more loving and take in those who match where you are. And there will be an unsatisfied honour. You can't feel that you can't be seen or not understood, but seen that it.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Never is good enough.

  Sune Sloth: The other person will feel that I can never really live up to what you're doing or standing in, or that it can lead to inadequacy. The other person is constantly trying to improve themselves. So if you can see that you're in a different place here and there's a huge discrepancy, it may well be that it's difficult to take the journey. You may well choose to stay in the relationship, but it may well be that it will be very difficult to take this maturing journey together.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: You take the maturation journey on yourself in other communities, but not in intimate relationships. And that's also to say man.

  Sune Sloth: You don't have to break up for that reason. And no, you don't.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: You don't have to. There is a maturing potential in intimate relationships, and you can do that in a frequency band. So you can tap into that, and it will do this and that. But it's not the only way you can mature.

  Sune Sloth: That's why we've covered this with my communities. And then we go and rejoice over the ones that look like there are men signing up.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Yes, we've organised a workshop for men, and we did that earlier this year too. There was almost. There was only one, and.

  Sune Sloth: There was one who cancelled.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: 2 weeks.

  Sune Sloth: After. And there are some men who bite antabuse and then they will and then they won't. And we don't really want that with you listening in, who keep doing that push pull. We don't want you to join us, we don't want it. And then the arms. We're not going to tell you the date, and I can't come with me, so don't go looking for it. I've made a solid description of the workshop for the man now with time management and all that shit, and I've made a page called The masculine journey where you can read a lot. And there is actually. You actually get homework before you arrive. And it's not a masculine practice in the sense that you sit and learn to take responsibility in your life and fulfil the masculine task, because you can go to a coach for that or whatever deals with that. So it's actually for men who have come so far that they can feel something, that they are working with something they can do. And now they want to try something other than work culture and break work ice water, and whatever else they've tried is beautiful and delicious and cool.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Think about it longer, but there is.

  Sune Sloth: Just something that isn't. They experience in the relational aspect that the women react to them in some way that they can see. They can't reach beyond their own limitations. They can't see what's going on. So it will be very, very exciting to see how this will hopefully materialise.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Say in a group for.

  Sune Sloth: Say. If you're a man and you're listening and you've come a long way, but also have this fuck, I want this. I want to move on. I want to stand. I know, stand in the relational and mature. So maybe it's something for you and for the rest of you. But then it's probably not. And so am I. But if you're there, go and read about it. It's only five hours and then we'll see how far we get. But then we'll see if we do a programme afterwards and what we do then. But the exciting thing will be to see if it unfolds in a different way. It makes it very visible, but we don't know. So yes, that was a little service announcement. So if you have a husband who is interested in this, you can also show him this page and see if it's something for him. Motivation should come from within and not push someone to do it. If there's anything else we want to say about this, then.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: We've got very well covered for now.

  Speaker3: Yes. That's about it.

  Sune Sloth: And then remember that we. We were on Radio 4 the other day. We've put a link about a player on the podcast website on our website and you can play it. I thought it was great, and it was exciting to be interviewed by a professional like that. I can't remember what I said. It felt like it was good.

  Mette Miriam Sloth: Then you can enjoy it too. If that was something I wanted to say.

  Sune Sloth: So I need a little touch. So I think we'll end here. And thank you again for listening and it's really touching when you give feedback. We don't need to be praised, but it means something to us to hear. It's great to hear that there is someone out there who enjoys what we do. Recognise themselves in it and in some ways maybe get something out of it, so it can give us peace of mind, although we just want to say thank you to those who give us. I mean. Because it's a way to show that you're not alone with these things. And our message is there are things that can be done that we didn't realise, and if we could have listened to this earlier self-esteem. Shut up, it's been a shortcut, because then we've known instead of having to figure it out because we couldn't read up on these things. So that's actually why we do it. It's actually so that others can take a shortcut so they don't have to figure it out from scratch, and then you can figure it out in your own form. So there's only one way we've ploughed through the jungle. There are many possible ones, so thank you for listening and learning that path.