Children's Vulnerability and Parents' Role

Children are vulnerable beings who depend on the care and support of adults to thrive and develop. Infants have natural access to their vulnerability and express it openly and directly, for example, through crying, facial expressions, and body movements when they feel insecure or overwhelmed. Parents' role is to be an anchor of vulnerability for the child by trying to calm and meet their needs. This constant process of regulating the child's emotions and creating security is crucial for the child's development of a healthy nervous system and the ability to handle vulnerability later in life.

Parents can unintentionally shut down the child's vulnerability, for example, through moralizing, criticism, or demands to suppress emotions. Instead of shaming the child for their reactions, parents should focus on creating a safe space where the child can express themselves freely and feel accepted.

Mirroring and Learning

Children learn by mirroring their parents. By seeing parents handle vulnerability in a healthy way, children learn that it is okay to be vulnerable and that conflicts can be resolved in love and security. This learning process is crucial for the child's ability to form healthy relationships later in life.

Children's Communication

Children often communicate indirectly, and it can be difficult to understand their signals. Questions like "How was your day at school?" are often too broad and abstract for children. Instead, parents should be creative and ask about the child's experiences through the senses, for example, by relating to smells, sounds, or tastes from the child's day. Children's reactions, such as tantrums, can also be an expression of unprocessed experiences that need space to emerge.

Parents' Responsibility for Their Own Energy

Parents' worries and anxieties can affect children's energy field and create a negative spiral where the children become outward-acting. It is crucial that parents take responsibility for their own energy levels and make sure to refill their own tank. Self-care, breaks, and activities that bring joy and peace are important to maintain a healthy balance in family life.

Boundary Setting and Protection

Parents must be able to set healthy boundaries to protect both themselves and their children. This may involve protecting themselves from heavier energies from the surroundings and saying no when necessary. Children learn the importance of boundaries and respect by observing their parents.

Individuation and Liberation

Children must be allowed to go their own ways and liberate themselves from their parents. This can be a difficult process for parents, but it is a natural part of the child's development. Parents must be willing to accept that their children may choose to live a life that is different from their own.

Protection Against Negative Influences

Parents have a responsibility to protect their children from negative influences, including from family members or friends who exhibit inappropriate behavior. It may be necessary to set limits on contact with these individuals to ensure the child's well-being. Parents should also help children navigate a world that is often characterized by low-frequency energies and unpleasant influences. By giving children tools to stand strong in their own energy field, they can better handle the challenges they face.

Sources: Conversations with my imaginary daughter by Mette Miriam Sloth.