When We Become Mothers

When we become mothers, something deep within us is called to awaken. We carry not only the child in our womb, but also the expectations from the culture and our own image of what motherhood should be. And yes, motherhood is about love – but it is also a journey filled with challenges that we cannot avoid. It requires maturity, and that maturity can be painful.

Our Cycle

Our biological cycle calls on us early. Even if we don't have children, we as women will still be part of this cycle. And it is beautiful, but also painful. Biology calls on us, and we are forced to mature – we are forced to take responsibility. It is a heavy responsibility that often feels overwhelming, and sometimes it makes us make choices that we may later regret. It is difficult to say out loud, but many women experience just that: a love for their children, but also a realization that they might have chosen differently if they could live their lives over.

What Role Should Children Have?

It is a taboo in our culture. For how can you look at your children and admit that you might not have chosen that life? It almost feels like taking their lives away, and that guilt is hard to bear. But we must dare to look the darkness in the eyes – not to deprive ourselves of the love for our children, but to understand the deeper layers of what it means to be a mother.

Over-Responsibility

Motherhood can force us to take on an over-responsibility, not only for our children, but also for our partner, our family, and sometimes all of society's expectations. It can be difficult to resist that pressure, and many of us try to create a kind of idyllic fantasy about what motherhood should be like. But often that fantasy collapses when reality does not match our dreams. We must dare to look into those places in ourselves where we hold on to rigid forms, and where we do not allow ourselves to mature. The journey of motherhood is not about perfection, but about letting life unfold – even when it does not look as we had hoped. It requires that we dare to let go of illusions and accept that motherhood is not always as idyllic as we might have imagined.

Glorification of Motherhood

And we must also dare to recognize that motherhood should not fill everything. There is a tendency to glorify motherhood in a way where we women can become so absorbed in the children that we lose ourselves. We become anxious – about the children's well-being, about what others think of us as mothers, and about whether we are doing it well enough. But it is not always good for either ourselves or our children. We must remember that there is more to life than motherhood, and that we must have the courage to look beyond what we think we should be.

Concluding Thoughts

It is a journey filled with awakenings and painful realizations. But it is also a journey that can bring us deeper into ourselves if we dare to look at the sides of us that are not perfect. If we dare to let go of the fantasy of the perfect family life and accept that life is complex, unpredictable, and sometimes filled with shadows.