Working with Polarity and Attraction
Working with polarity in a relationship is about understanding and navigating the field of tension between masculine and feminine energies within yourselves. For it to be successful in the long run, the process needs to be conscious. That is why we have written this guide.
Here are the most important aspects:
Polarity as a Fundamental Force
The first step is to try to see polarity as a natural and inevitable force that exists in all relationships, but which is especially true in the couple relationship, where it is crucial for sexual attraction. Trying to suppress or ignore polarity in the relationship leads to frustration, imbalance in responsibility, and conflicts about who takes the poles in everyday life.
Identification of Primary Poles
It is important to become aware of which pole you primarily identify with and which pole your partner primarily identifies with. This may be different from your biological gender, and some switch poles. Knowing your primary poles can help you understand both parties' positions.
Balancing the Poles
Once you know your primary poles, you can begin to work on integrating them into yourselves and between you. It is about making room for both types of energies in the relationship, both masculine and feminine. For example, you, who have spent a lot of time in the masculine at work, can consciously switch to the feminine when you get home to restore balance in yourself, but it requires that your partner is aware and conscious of the change so that it does not conflict with daily tasks.
Making Room for Diversity
Polarity thrives on diversity. Trying to make your partner into a similar version of yourself in everyday life, through striving for equality, will kill the polarity and thus the spark in the relationship. It is about accepting and appreciating the differences between you and cultivating them strategically and consciously in a joint exploration.
Meeting Each Other's Shadow Sides
Polarity can bring unresolved traumas and "shadow sides" to light. It is important to be willing to meet both your own and your partner's shadow sides with love. Working with your own "inner critic" is, for example, an important part of the process.
Communication and Emotional Regulation
Being able to communicate your needs and feelings constructively is crucial to navigating polarity and not least the 3 stages. It is important to be able to listen to your partner and be willing to understand their perspective.
Taking Responsibility for Your Own Energy
It is important to take responsibility for your own energy and avoid projecting unresolved problems onto your partner. It is about becoming aware of your own reaction patterns and working to regulate your emotions, into clarity, and finding out what is my inner material and what is not mine. This can be a big job, but also a job that can also be used in many other contexts, such as in the workplace and relationships with children.
Creating Consciously
When you are aware of polarity, you can begin to create something conscious in the relationship that is new and was not there before, it can be allowed to move and change dynamically. It is about being aware of what energies and patterns you bring into the relationship and about taking responsibility for creating the dynamic you want and looking at what you bring to the table yourself.
Additional Remarks
Working with polarity in the couple relationship is a continuous process that requires patience, dedication, and curiosity to explore together.
There are no "quick fixes" or ready-made recipes. Each relationship is unique, and it is important to find your own way of working with polarity. We are just giving our thoughts here for inspiration.
Help from a therapist can be a valuable support in the process. Pay attention to whether the therapist practices what they preach in their own lives. No one is perfect, but there are many out there who know the theories of polarity but "mess around" in their own private lives.
Energy work and conversation with both parties, and individually, have been found useful by some.
